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Come Fan with UsThursday, July 2, 2026

St. Louis Cardinals’ Star Wars Night led to weird photos

LANCE (deep breath) (deep breath) YOU ARE MY STARTER -- Mike Matheny telling Lance Lynn he was starting on Star Wars night

We have no qualms with the concept of a Star Wars Night -- let the nerds (we don’t feel bad about calling them nerds, because most Star Wars nerds self-identify as nerds, right?) have some fun at the ballpark, give some money to charity, nobody gets hurt, right? And besides, EVERY SINGLE MINOR LEAGUE TEAM does it.

However, with the Cardinals hosting the Pirates earning ESPN’s Wednesday Night Baseball slot, the coverage got ... odd.

Rick Sutcliffe, you are not a Jedi. Sure, you won a Cy Young Award, but a real Jedi could've mind-tricked batters and umpires and used the Force to make the ball act crazy en route to home plate, leading to 14 or 15 Cy Youngs.

But more importantly: Darth Vader likes killing Jedi and there are like 11 Darth Vaders behind you. You should be scared.

Darth Vader does not understand baseball. He is an evil, incredibly powerful taskmaster that exists a long long time ago in a galaxy far away. They did not have baseball then, and if they did, they did not have baseball there. He probably will not provide any good answers.

The Cardinals’ Twitter account had more pics:

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