Actually insulting people is so passé. Words can hurt people’s feelings, and that isn’t fun for anybody.
Mets fans hurl minor insults at Hunter Pence, get ripped off by less funny bros
Hunter Pence isn’t a bad guy -- he’s just got extremely poor taste in a few ways that make it obvious you should never hang out with him. Enter the Mild Hunter Pence insulters.
The key is to make up semi-insults that show someone is an inferior human being, like these Mets fans did all weekend as the Giants visited Citi Field:
Ewww, Hunter. EWWW.
To be fair, neither can I, and I live in New York.
I actually rewatched The Godfather 3 a few weeks ago on HBOGo just to see if it was as bad as I remembered or merely bad in comparison to the Godfather 1 and 2. It’s as bad as I remembered.
Anyway, this is a funny, funny gimmick. Much funnier than “________ LIKES NICKELBACK.” And when you come up with something funny, you learn that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:
BROS
FIRST OFF, DON’T SLANDER BATHS. THEY AREN’T PRACTICAL AND I DON’T TAKE THEM OFTEN, BUT THEY ARE COMFORTABLE AS ALL HELL
SECONDLY, SAYING SOMEONE DOESN’T LIKE BACON ISN’T A MILD, HUMOROUS INSULT. IT IS AKIN TO SAYING SOMEONE IS A MURDERER, PONZI SCHEME FINACIER, AND/OR THE HEAD COACH OF THE EVIL TEAM THAT WINS IN THE MIGHTY DUCKS. DON’T TOSS THAT AROUND LIGHTLY.
Bros, just because somebody has a funny gag doesn’t mean you have to copy it. Shame on you, bros. Shame on you.
Pence went 6-for-18 with six extra base hits -- two dingers, two triples, two doubles -- and seven RBI, so perhaps these mild insults merely fuel him.
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