At the NBA rookie training school, where the rookies are learning how to establish their personal brand.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 11 impossibly strange pieces of advice the NBA is telling its rookies
“Sometimes you will have meals that include food and chicken.”
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
New York Times writer at large Sarah Lyall is live-tweeting an NBA rookie training session. They are getting tips on building their #personal #brands, but mostly about how human beings eat meals of food.
This life advice is too surreal to be true and too good to be faked.
(1) True
"Sometimes you have to clap for yourself." #nbaRookieAdvice
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (2) Yes
If people live in your house and use your credit cards and drive your car, you should know their last names.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (3) Yup
Her name is probably not really Sparkle Smith.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (4) Hm ...
If you're alseep, you're in trouble.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (5) Well, sure
Many guys think you don’t have to introduce yourself, but that’s not true.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (6) “Your network is your net worth.”
Networking is important to help you build your brand, because your network is your net worth.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (7) OK
If you don't know anybody at an event, talk to the person standing alone.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (8) How To Eat Like A Human
Sometimes you will have meals that include food and chicken.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Your place setting will include two forks one knife one spoon and a glass.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 the main meal is called an entree, but first we're going to have an appetizer.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Where is the small fork?
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Where's your knife?
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Remember this: BMW. Bread, Meal, Water.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 The meat is dead; you do not have to kill it again.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Tell your friends how to eat properly, so they don't embarrass you at dinner.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (9) Specifically, How To Eat Soup Like A Human
The round spoon is the soup spoon.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 You do not dunp your hand in your soup bowl.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 If your soup is too hot, do not blow. Stir.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (10) People need water to live
Now at NBA rookie school, we are going to learn about the importance of hydration.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Your brain is 95 percent water.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Hydration is the difference between steak and beef jerky.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Your urine should not look like apple juice or Guinness.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 Have you ever licked your sweat?
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 (11) But most importantly ...
Lindsay Lohan is irresponsible.
— Sarah Lyall (@sarahlyall) August 7, 2014 
