10 problems with Jose Canseco’s predictions for 2015

Jose Canseco took to Twitter to reveal his watertight predictions for 2015. His list was a bold set of Canseco-isms, but there are some problems.

Problem: There could be life on Mars (no, really) but it’s not going to be discovered in 2015. The next planned trip to the planet is set for 2016, but even that voyage isn’t designed to look for life.

Problem: “Jeb” York isn’t the CEO of the 49ers. That would be Jed York. This is impressive because “Jeb York” is a mock Twitter account created solely after Canseco insisted the 49ers’ CEO was named Jeb.

Problem: None. We’re not going to throw shade on Canseco’s daughter. Good luck Josie!

Problem: The rights to Family Matters were originally owned by ABC, then CBS bought them. No way is that valuable series being sold to NBC. Sorry, not happening.

Problem: Peace in the Middle East would be amazing, make it so Cansecodamus -- but where is this ocean located? Israel isn’t on an ocean, it’s on the Mediterranean Sea. Moreover, who’s trading a part of the Mediterranean Sea? 200 miles in any direction hits Egypt, Lebanon, Cyprus or Syria.

Problem: Hoverboards could be a thing in 2015, but Elon Musk isn’t doing it. He’s too busy working on the latest Tesla vehicles to be concerned with it. Hendo on the other hand, there’s a possibility. The company released a $10,000 prototype last year and with a little luck maybe we will see them come to market.

Problem: See prediction No. 2. Also, assuming Barbara Walters came out of retirement, are we as an international community really going to subject the poor creature to being on The View?

Problem: Before even discussing the viability of telomere extension, the business model of opening multiple surgery centers in a single year isn’t going to happen. They decided to put a Wolfgang Puck Pizza Bar in town, it took 13 months before it opened.

Problem: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯