Have a couple hundred extra dollars in your pocket? Sure, we all do. As such, I would like to draw your attention to these boxes of ancient condoms with Ted Williams, Jack Dempsey, and “unnamed footballer” on the front.
Buy these Ted Williams condoms
They’re a “home run.” Except for the Jack Dempsey condoms, which are a “knock out.”
The bidding is at just $150, so dig in and buy those rubbers. Ideas for future marketing:
“Ted Williams Brand Condoms: Because your own splendid splinter deserves the best.”
“Ted Williams Brand Condoms: We’re batting at least .400, maybe even better?”
“Ted Williams Brand Condoms: There are no holes in his swing, just like these rubbers.”
Don Draper: What are we selling? A box of rubbers, sure. This is more than that, though. This is technical perfection in a box. It’s the idea that if other people practice something over and over again, they still aren’t going to be as good at it as you are. We’re selling the idea that you were born with something innate that makes you better, empirically better, than other people. Just like Ted Williams and the art of hitting.
And if the consumer still isn’t convinced, if they want to use a competitor’s condoms? Go ahead. They swing and miss a lot more, but go ahead. Take that risk. The smart man will use Champs. The smart man will trust in the Ted Williams of condoms.
You want to buy them. You probably should buy them. They are America in so many ways.
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