The Jacksonville Jaguars are headed to London this week to play the Buffalo Bills at Wembley Stadium, and are practicing their British accents to prepare. They are not very good!
The Jaguars have no idea what a British accent sounds like
.@BigDavis813, @J_Cyprien & @LBow70 are getting ready for the trip to London. How'd they do, @FulhamFC? #JAXinUK https://t.co/rUS7RtIKl6
— Jacksonville Jaguars (@Jaguars) October 22, 2015 Jacksonville Britishisms, ranked from best to worst:
1. Ryan Davis, DE: “Roast beef Yorkshire pudding with all the trimmings.”
This is pretty good! British people do eat Yorkshire pudding, and they really do ask for trimmings. He, uh, does not sound very much like a British person asking for this food, but it’s a step in the right direction.
2. Luke Bowanko, center: “Can I place an order for delivery? I’d like two toads in the hole with onion gravy and a side of crumpets for my friend here. That’s a wee little lad.”
This begins as an actually pretty good Australian accent, but then devolves into a sort of demented Scottish accent instead. Crumpets are a good thought -- they have those there! -- but at no point does Bowanko sound like he might be from England.
Consider that this is No. 2 on this list.
3. Ryan Davis again: “That was lit. That was lit.”
No, sorry. Things are not lit in London.
4. Johnathan Cyprien, safety: “May I please have some apple pie and custard, please?”
Points for politeness, but, uh, sir, you know that phrase “as American as apple pie”? This is what pie looks like in England:
Christopher Furlong/Getty Images
I can’t make many promises, but I can promise you this: there are no apples in that pie.
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