After Tuesday night’s marathon 14-inning game it’s clear that neither the Mets, nor the Royals know who should win the World Series. It’s a tough situation for two perennially downtrodden franchises, but it’s okay -- we’re here to help. This is “WWE 2K Decides” and the World Series WILL be settled in a one-on-one match between Mr. Met and Sluggerrr. May the best mascot win.
WWE 2K Decides: Mr. Met and Sluggerrr fight for World Series glory
This series is going to be grueling and both teams are evenly matched. Lets settle this.
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Let’s get the caveats out of the way: Both Mr. Met and Sluggerrr were set at an overall rating of 85. This is a good clean fight with no shenanigans, because that wouldn’t be baseball. Each are controlled by the computer and there has been no attempt to influence the outcome of this fight. This is pure as snow.
The game did force me to pick their “attitudes.” This was not an easy decision. Ultimately Sluggerrr was made egotistical, bold and a cheater. The reason for this is simple: HE WAS THE LECHEROUS CREEP WHO HIT ON MRS. MET LAST YEAR. Essentially Mr. Met has everything to fight for. Here’s how it went down:
Mr. Met was programmed to fight fair ... he wasn’t in the mood to follow programming.
It’s hard to blame the guy. He’s in the ring with the lion who’s harassing his wife. Sure we all TRY to be nice people, but sometimes you just snap.
The beginning of the match was a lesson in technique. The two traded tie-ups and holds, jockeying for position and trying to gain an upper hand. For a while this was shaping up to be another 14-inning drag-out fight, but then things changed.
A flurry of blows proved Sluggerrr wasn’t ready for this. We shouldn’t be surprised. He’s an aristocratic lion born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Mr. Met is a man of the streets and his head is covered in stitches. Sluggerrr is who you go to when you need advice on how to tax the proletariat. Mr. Met is the dude who will swing a stool in a bar fight for you.
It seems Mr. Met is on a tear. He’s called “unstoppable.” WWE announcer Michael Cole fears Sluggerrr has suffered nerve damage in his arm. Mercifully the New York mascot goes for the pin and ... KICK OUT! MR. MET CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
If there’s one thing the Royals taught us last night it’s that they aren’t going down without a fight. Sluggerrr kept swinging, looking for his opening -- he found it. Striking with cat-like quickness he reversed Mr. Met and gave him the what-for. Was this it?! The announcers said it was over ...
ANOTHER KICK OUT!
This fight was about pride, it was about honor. Sooner or later something would break it wide open. Then it happened. Rejuvenated after breaking out of the pin, and with the whole crowd on his side, Mr. Met started to bring the hurt. Dropping Sluggerrr face-first was the beginning of the end.
Mr. Met spun Sluggerrr around like a top, forcing him into the canvas face-first with a Killswitch. The Royals’ mascot lay lifeless on the mat. There could only be one victor and it was decided on this day.
There it is. The World Series has been decided, and even down 0-1 the Mets will come back, they will prevail. Mr. Met wills it and his wish is the sports god’s command. If you want to watch the whole fight feel free to endure the pain.
Have a sports battle you need settled? Suggest it in the comments and we could set up your fight in a future edition of “WWE 2K Decides.”
