John Calipari’s stomach will benefit from a cake that is expensive and permissible

John Calipari took a visit to his old UMass stomping grounds on Tuesday, as part of a two-day celebration in honor of the coach, which included an unveiling of ‘90s-era throwback jerseys. The jerseys look nice and all, but Calipari shared something even better: This delicious-looking basketball cake.

We here at SB Nation saw this photo and angrily debated whether everything on the cake board is actually a cake. There are reasons for thinking why some stuff in here is not a cake:

1. There’s a book there, and convincingly, it looks like an actual book, the type you shouldn’t eat (although who’s stopping you, really?) because it’s made of paper.

2. There’s a hat there, which is another thing you can’t eat (again, who’s stopping you?) because it’s made of fabric.

I personally became a cake truther, and told everyone the book and hat are both edible parts of the cake. The book and the hat are both made of fondant, which allows any baker with a limitless imagination to create wacky cake sculptures. Also, why else would Calipari say “My family is gonna eat the book tonight!!” in that Instagram description? Calipari’s not going to say that if the book was real, otherwise he’d be a cruel human being that forces his family to eat paper from a book he wrote.

No one was convinced, until finally, we found a photo tweet from Matt Vautour revealing a different angle. I was correct -- EVERYTHING IS EDIBLE ON THAT CAKE:

As for the thing at the top of the cake that looks like rotting cabbage, that’s just a fancy stand for the basketball, both of which you can eat. It would roll off the cake without that stand.
Also, fondant is great sculpting material for cakes, but it tastes terrible. Avoid fondant at all costs.