Nobody loves you, you will die alone, and here is a Nickelback disco song

This is a website about sports, more or less, so this has no place here. This is a song from a universally derided band, and it’s an easy target. They want you to make fun of it. They’re trolling you, consciously, and by sharing this with friends and family, you’re playing right into their hands.

Everything is sports, as we say here at SB Nation. This is especially sports. Today is an Olympic event that you can hold in your own home. When you hover your mouse pointer over the above video, you will notice a triangle. Click that triangle. At the bottom of the video is a clock. The maximum time an event in this sport can last is four minutes and 42 seconds. If you like sports, you will try to match the world’s record of four minutes and 42 seconds.

If you like sports, you are willing to risk things for sports.

If you like sports, please listen to this and please post your time below.

I made it to 1:25 and “Coca-Cola rolla coaster,” then I lost control of my bowels and well, you know, sometimes sports aren’t fun. But if you don’t risk things for sports, you render them meaningless.

Please post your time below.