We told you about ¡El Assico!, the wonderful, misguided rivalry between Iowa and Iowa State, where everything goes slightly more awry than it should. Well, we were watching this game, and we saw something no man should see:
Iowa-Iowa State has a mascot, and it’s an enormous, smiling piece of corn
AHHHHHHHHHHHH GIANT CORN MONSTER
@edsbs Viva El Assico pic.twitter.com/nZH5fbNwKK
— bayou boiler (@bayouboiler) September 12, 2015 A giant half-man, half-corn, watching the game amongst Iowa’s humans. Iowa is our nation’s greatest corn grower, and apparently all this corn-growing has led to anthropomorphic corn wandering the streets and intermingling with people, and nobody even bats an eye.
After doing some research, we learned this is Captain Cornelius, the mascot for the Iowa Corn Growers Association, which sponsors the Cy-Hawk series. (This is how the Iowa-Iowa State trophy was briefly a family worshipping corn.) In his full form, he is a caped superhero:
Posted by Iowa Corn on Saturday, September 12, 2015
Posted by Iowa Corn on Monday, September 15, 2014
This CornMonster is supposedly supposed to convince us that we should eat corn and support corn farmers and use ethanol. I’m not sure why. It just makes me think that farming corn leads to giant terrifying CornPeople, and in my opinion, that’s bad.
I tremble in fear of what would happen if this beast met up with the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl mascot:
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