‘Friends Hang Sometimes Banners Hang Forever’ is a real phrase Kobe Bryant trademarked

Kobe Bryant is apparently making moves to trademark some new phrases for his company, and they’re all pretty strange:

According to ESPN, this has been in the works for a few months, slightly before he announced his retirement:

In October, Kobe Inc. trademarked its name with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office. Late last month, the business filed to trademark “HeroVillain” and a “HV” logo, which stands for hero/villain as well as a “KB20” mark, symbolizing Bryant’s 20 years in the NBA with the Los Angeles Lakers.

The one that stands out the most is “Friends Hang Sometimes Banners Hang Forever,” which simultaneously makes sense and does not make sense at all. For one, of course friends hang sometimes. Taking a break from being with your friend is a normal, healthy component of every friendship; if friends hung out all the time, I guarantee they would stop being friends by, like, the 26th or 27th hour. It’d be insufferable.

And two -- banners don’t hang forever. Case in point: this video of Nate Robinson’s jersey (a figurative banner) getting taken off a wall.

Arguably, banners can hang for a long time. I’ve shopped at my local Sam’s Club for at least a decade, and during every visit, I’ve seen their “Best Sam’s Club” banners (they stopped winning that award starting in 2002) hang listlessly over the entrance. But I know they won’t hang forever. They will be taken down eventually, because Sam’s Club can’t live forever, and that Sam’s Club building can’t stay forever, and time is a social construct, and “forever” is an impossibility for all living things, including you, Kobe.

Also, I know what you’re going for with the term “HeroVillain,” but you know there’s already a word for that, right?

(via @imbeccable)

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