Dolphins owner says the Dolphins are the very finest football team, apart from the football

“From every aspect except on the playing field, we’re probably the first-class organization in the National Football League,” said Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, whose 6-10 team will be sitting out the playoffs for the seventh consecutive year, a franchise record.

This is good to know! Some other good facts: From every aspect except the medicine, I am a first-class surgeon, and taking into account everything except the thumbs, general neural arrangement and interest in or even vague comprehension of the arts, my cat is the very finest violinist on earth.

In any case, it is unclear whether this statement of unabashed optimism and at least partial truth came before or after Ross missed three consecutive high fives. One for each head coach in the Dolphins’ calendar year, perhaps.