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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

A drunk monkey somehow got a hold of a butcher knife. This is not a drill.

It must’ve been a long day at work for a capuchin monkey who visited a bar in Patos, Brazil, for a drink earlier this month.

But things took a turn for the worse after the monkey tipped back a glass of rum — and then grew pugnacious.

It grabbed a butcher knife and ran onto the roof, swinging the blade at anyone who dared get too close.

Officials eventually caught the monkey, who’s apparently a regular at the bar, and released it into the wild. The monkey was later recaptured after “acting aggressively” toward people, per UPI.

While officials are reviewing what to do with it next, we can only speculate on why the monkey got its hands on a knife. Perhaps, it drew inspiration from this crab?

For now, the bar maybe ought to enforce a “no monkeying around” policy.

(h/t UPI)

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