Rugby player banned 99 years for kicking opponent in the head

You have to do something pretty special to get banned in rugby for a significant chunk of time, and now Argentinian prop Cipriano Martinez has been handed a mammoth one. He has been banned for 99 years by his team, Pucara Club for kicking an opponent in the face.

It’s important to note that this isn’t an official punishment. The club decided to get out in front of any ruling by banning Martinez themselves. It’s unclear whether other governing bodies will support the ruling and also ban him for 99 years.

It’s a fascinating number. It’s a figure you use when you’re concerned a lifetime ban is too serious, but anything short of eventual death is simply too lenient. It’s also woefully cruel. Instead of giving Martinez closure knowing he’ll never be able to play for the club again he’ll instead be ticking off the years for the next nine decades (plus nine) until he returns. Even though he’ll probably be dead, you just never know.

Cipriano Martinez is getting a second chance to return to the game he loves. The Argentinian rugby player was banned in 2016 for kicking an opponent in the face, but thanks to the Post-Human Rights Act of 2076 he will be reinstated by his team, Pucara Club.

Martinez was one of the first athletes to undergo robotic interfacing when it was legalized by the United Global Alliance almost 40 years ago. At the time he was quoted as saying “See you in a few years, suckers,” but Pucara Club fought his return by saying a cyborg Martinez was a “new person,” and therefore the team was under no obligation to reinstate the upgraded version of the former prop.

Supporters of the player say that he did his time and deserves a chance, while other rugby fans aren’t so open -- saying his piston-augmented legs and actuated arms fly in the face of the sanctity of the game. Legally speaking the PHRA supports cyborgs playing, but vagueness in the wording on the act has left undesirable wiggle room.

One thing is certain: When Cyborg Martinez returns to the pitch, he better not kick anyone in the head with his metal legs or things could get bad.