There’s nothing I love more than Olympic mascots. In general, I’m very pro-mascot, but there’s something special about a nation selecting characters to represent them for an ephemeral few weeks before they disappear from the Earth. Most Olympic mascots are fine, but Tokyo 2020 has a chance for something truly transcendent.
The Tokyo Olympics mascot candidates are amazing. But only two can be all-time greats.
This would be the Olympics’ greatest achievement.
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
via Tokyo2020.jp
C CANDIDATES ARE POISED TO BE THE GREATEST OLYMPIC MASCOTS OF ALL TIME!
Look at these beautiful confused numb skulls. These mascots are all of us. Top right looks like it’s high as hell, bottom right is asking for a second dessert in the cafeteria. I feel like these were designed just for me and people like me. These are my people and I love my beautiful cartoon fur children.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with the other mascots. Candidate A look like the Samurai Pizza Cats, which REALLY appeals to my nostalgia — but they’re too passe. I’ve seen these kind of designs a millions times before and their awesomeness is wearing thin.
Candidates B are my least favorite. They’re basically reject Pokémon. Top middle is a fire type, bottom middle is a water/grass type. Normally I’d be totally on board for reject Pokémon, but I just can’t when this beautiful pair are staring at me.
These mascots ARE the Olympics. Confusing. Weird. Unclear how or why they are still applicable in a modern world. Stoned Cat and Leaf Bear are the perfect representation of what the Olympics should represent. I want to see these mascots 10 stories tall, plastered on the side of a skyscraper. I want to see them walking around the Olympic stadium posing for children and possibly buying drugs from a Japanese man named Todd. I don’t know why he’s named Todd, but he is.
Nothing but respect for MY mascots.
The designs will be voted on by elementary schoolchildren in Japan. I know they’re going to pick Candidates A because they appeal to a young aesthetic, but if there’s any justice in this world I want Stoned Cat and Leaf Bear to get their due. Because the Stoned Cats and Leaf Bears of this world so rarely do.
I implore you, children of Japan: If you’re reading this, do the right thing.
