Excuse me. I know things are busy in the sports world right now, but you need to stop everything and look at this instead.
Please look at this terrifyingly enormous chicken
This haunts my nightmares.
LOOK AT THIS ENORMOUS CHICKEN. I’M TERRIFIED.
It’s unfolding itself out of its door. It is walking around the yard like a human. It’s standing by a tree, maybe marking its territory? Like a dog.
There’s another, smaller chicken in the yard and it seems the two almost get into a faceoff. Obviously, the little guy backs down.
This beast is a Brahma chicken, which used to be used for meat production in the U.S. They’re known for getting extremely large.
This chicken is definitely named Brutus.
This chicken will beat up your dog if it looks at it the wrong way.
This chicken might even steal your girlfriend, and you would let it.
This chicken could definitely play sports. I think it may go in the first or second round of the NFL draft as a defensive lineman.
I think we should hope it does play football, it’ll give it something to do and keep it from stalking around the yard like that, scaring other chickens and people alike.
Besides, it could be a valuable asset to some team next year.
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