Roger Goodell is the ultimate host. WAIT! Before you close the window and immediately hate me, hear me out. Every year he hosts an event where almost everyone boos him, he gives young football players jerseys and bakes brownies for their moms. Well, maybe just one mom.
Roger Goodell brought brownies to the NFL draft for Annie Apple
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
There’s a backstory to this. Apparently Annie Apple, mother of Giants cornerback Eli Apple, attended the draft in 2016 and was mortified by the lack of a dessert spread in the green room — but ol’ Rog came to the rescue.
Now we really can’t end the story here because writing something entirely wholesome about Roger Goodell just feels ... icky. So here are a couple of zingers, just so I feel better about myself.
- This is 100 percent the face of an undercover cop who’s brought pot brownies to a college party for the purposes of entrapment. His cover story is that he’s a continuing education student trying to finish his I.T. degree before his company downsizes him.
- That phrase Roger ... it’s something out of a dang serial killer movie. “Who’s going to eat all these brownies?” is right up there with “Can you help me find my dog?” and “Do you mind helping me lift this sofa?” in the depth chart of serial killer pre-murder phrases.
There, now I feel better.
