Cooking and sports. They don’t have a lot in common, unless you’re talking about the ruthless competition on Chopped or running around a supermarket under the watchful eye of the Lord of Darkness himself in Guy’s Grocery Game.
6 common sports items you can use in the kitchen, such as a cleat tenderizer
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
But recently these two worlds have collided more than ever — and as such there are some helpful ways you can use the sports equipment laying around to make a wonderful meal at home.
This year, both Tom Brady and Stephen Curry have shown how much they love cooking:
Look at them. Steph uses his chef’s knife to prepare some green onions, while Tom Bracy slices a radish with a meat cleaver because recipes never include info about not using meat cleavers on radishes. What most athletes don’t realize is that they have access to make high-end kitchen utensils at home, with objects from their job:
Mixing need fixing? Want to stir in a blur? Now you can with the “Basketbowl”! A non-slip exterior means you’ll never drop grandma’s precious cookie batter after you promised her one last batch before she meets the sweet release of death — AND the bowl turns inside out for easy cleaning!
Is your steak a mistake? Does your beef need relief? Now with the “Cleat Tenderizer” you can make sure any time you grill is a “touchdown.” Made from a repurposed NFL boot, this tenderizer is sure to make your guests say your stir fry really is a super bowl.
Vegetables. They’re good for you, but preparing them really is a chore. Not anymore! This “Ice Skate Mandolin” from NevRDull will turn your celery into celer-yummy! High-quality stainless steel means the blade will last a lifetime.
Dough too slow? Pie too dry? This patented rolling pin is also your first line of self-defense at home. Made from the highest quality wood, this pinbat will make sure that you hit every recipe out of the park.
Does your pot need a spot? Your pan need a stand? Are you yearning to see your countertops stop burning? It’s the all new “Puck Trivet.” Made from a genuine used NHL puck — the “Puck Trivet” is the only tool you need to make sure your countertops are pristine. Using advanced thermal conduction technology, these weighted pucks won’t slide and are practically indestructible. In fact, they’re so strong we gave them to these hockey players and it lasted a whole afternoon.
If cooking is just too hard, there’s one thing strong enough to shoulder the burden — Oak. Former Chopped star Charles Oakley will come to your house and cook dinner for you whenever you like*. From fish to knish, there’s no dish he can’t wish into existence-ish.
*Not a guarantee. Charles Oakley is unaware of this offer.
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