We all need more sports in our lives — especially during this time of the year. This Fourth of July, we want you to be the athlete. But don’t worry: You won’t need to do anything athletic. These are achievements you can unlock just by eating and hanging out with your friends and family.
Turn your 4th of July into a sport with this scorecard
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Let’s get to it.
Sports of July Scorecard
Challenge | Points |
|---|---|
| Category: Food | |
| Eat a hamburger | 1 |
| Eat a hot dog | 1 |
| Eat and hot dog and hamburger on same plate | 3 |
| Put hot dog chili on your hamburger | 1 |
| Only eat meat that comes hot off the grill | 3 |
| Eat the most meat at your gathering | 5 |
| Eat a slice of apple pie | 2 |
| Put ice cream on that pie | 1 |
| Horde and devour the entire bag of the best chips brought to the party | 4 |
| Eat hot dogs while watching the hot dog eating contest | 2 |
| Keep pace and finish within 15 dogs of the winner | 25 |
| Category: Social engineering | |
| Avoid all the terrible salads people bring | 2 |
| Make everyone who brought a terrible salad think you ate it | 4 |
| Cut to the front of the food line by pretending there's a medical reason you need to eat | 12 |
| Control the entire night's TV viewing by persuasion | 7 |
| Convince someone the actual date of Independence Day was 8/14, but was changed to match the movie "Independence Day's" release date | 20 |
| Successfully trade one of your trash beers for a much better beer | 2 |
| Convince the owner of the better beer to make a full 6 pack trade. | 8 |
| Category: Games | |
| Play volleyball | 2 |
| Win | 2 |
| Spike the ball in a grandma's face | 6 |
| Trash talk everyone regardless of age or relation | 3 |
| Play cards | 2 |
| Take everyone's money | 10 |
Scoring
0-5: Questionable patriot.
6-10: Patriot.
11-15: Flag-waving patriot.
16-20: Sportsexander Hamilton
21-25: Sportsbraham Lincoln.
26-99: Sports Washington.
100+: Sportadict Arnold, you ruined the Fourth of July.
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