Katy Perry’s ‘Swish Swish’ music video is offensive to sports

Katy Perry released the music video for her song “Swish Swish” on Thursday, and it’s basketball-themed because “swish” is a term in basketball, get it? Here at SBNation.com we love a lot of things — but we hated this.

There are a great many reasons we all disliked this so intently.

This entire video, which lasts for over six minutes, was created as if a computer was asked to make a video the internet will like, and it spat out this.

Hey remember backpack kid? The kid the internet liked when Katy Perry was on SNL? Well, here’s here to remind you that Katy Perry knows the internet liked it.

Did you need more memes? Cool. This video has so many memes, you won’t know where a meme ends and another meme begins. Katy Perry tripped over trying to dunk because we have established she’s bad as basketball ...

JUST KIDDING IT WAS AN EXCUSE FOR ANOTHER MEME.

Maybe I’m too angry at all these dumb memes. At least they haven’t put in Grumpy Cat or some crap like that, because THAT would be over the top.

Dammit.

I wanted to take one more pass through the video to make sure there wasn’t any more dumb stuff I missed — then I realized the Wendy’s chicken nugget kid was in this too.

I hate it.

Someone has to keep him away from such harmful situations. 2017 is bad enough as it is. We can’t lose him too.

Oh wait — we have literally lost him because he’s in this horrible video and now has flown away with these balloons. Way to go, everyone.

I’m old, so I don’t know what in tarnation all this pop culture stuff is, and everything is SO LOUD, and it’s busy, and whatever happened to MC Skat Cat, and now there was an emcee who flamed out before his time.

Anyway, I thought I would join my workmates and laugh at this video, but then this part came up:

And it reminded me of a Jon Bois video, right down to the music.

So I turned it off and watched a Jon Bois video instead.

I think the exclamation point in this video is Terry Crews and why he got into coaching in the first place if his head was eventually going to explode.

If you’re prone to explode after a loss in a basketball game, maybe you shouldn’t be coaching to begin with? You have a 50-50 shot at keeping your head intact before every game and it just doesn’t seem like a risk worth taking, especially if you’re lifting weights and drinking coffee throughout the entire thing. The combination of those things doesn’t seem ideal if you want to prevent high blood pressure. I understand that his team is composed of the beefiest basketball players I have ever seen, but that still doesn’t seem worth it. They were bound to lose eventually.

Then after the Tigers win, the entire stadium erupts (sorry Coach Crews) into one giant dance party like they just didn’t see a beloved head coach explode. Poor Terry Crews.