Bryce Harper might have accidentally stumbled upon a home styling secret, or he multiplied by infinity and the universe is about to fold over on itself and doom us all.
Bryce Harper’s hair secret is using two dryers at the same time
Research shows that nobody has really done this before.
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
TWO HAIR DRYERS AT ONCE!
OK, so Bryce has spectacular windswept hair — so who are we to judge? But this is a styling secret the likes of which the internet has never really heard of before. Being a capital “J” Journalist I leaned on the ultimate source of knowledge to find out if anyone else has tried the double hair dryer method.
Top result: A 2012 post on a cruise ship message board.
User “ROWSE,” who has achieved the rank of “Cool Cruiser” (congrats ROWSE) wanted to know back in 2012 whether her stateroom would allow for two hair dryers to be used at once without tripping a circuit breaker. ROWSE was asking because both herself, and ROWSE’s husband wanted to use hairdryers. There was no evidence one person would use both of them at once.
Answers were inconclusive.
Result Two: A 2013 post on a Canadian deals message board.
User “rdx,” a self-professed “Deals Fanatic” discussed her dismay at finding out the breaker in her bedroom tripped whenever two hair dryers were used. Alkizmo, a “Deals Guru” gave a detailed and helpful answer.
Yet again, we didn’t learn if one person was using two dryers at once. Unable to ascertain an answer I had to take greater measures to learn about this spooky mystery.
I clicked on Google images. if I didn’t get a solid answer then maybe at least I’d discover a photo of someone using two hairdryers. Alas, my efforts were fruitless. Over 5,000 images of hairdryers, and not one of a person using two at the same time.
So congrats, Bryce Harper. You are a style icon. Don’t let anyone goof on you for using two hair dryers. If you’ve got it, flaunt it — and your hair will remain perfect until the excess energy you used powering two hair dryers will hasten the world’s expenditure of fossil fuels to the point where we can no longer afford the electricity to power hair dryers, and instead resort into walking into darkened caves full of bats and allowing the collective heat of their tiny nocturnal bodies to hasten the evaporation of our surplus hair water.
