King James, KD, The Greek Freak — we’ve become accustomed to using NBA nicknames off hand and immediately know who is being discussed. In China nicknames are different and they’re much, much better.
This whole thread of NBA players’ nicknames in China is incredible
From ‘Sprout God’ to ‘Letters Bro.’
Getty Images
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Nick Kapur, an East Asian historian, explained on Twitter how NBA nicknames have morphed through internet culture. Phonetics often play into how we develop nicknames, which makes something like the “Greek Freak” so much fun to say. But these don’t translate directly through Chinese characters, making them much less entertaining. This has caused basketball fans to create their own nicknames, and they’re glorious.
LeBron James: The Little Emperor
I love “The Little Emperor,” because even young ‘Bron was not a small dude. It has a Little John quality from Robin Hood I really appreciate.
That said, it’s his other nickname I love even more. “Spoiled only child” is so much more poetic for haters than “LeFail” or “LeFart” or whatever dumbshit ones we have in English. As a spoiled only child names James myself, this one really resonates with me.
Russell Westbrook: Wei Dude
I’m probably butchering it, but I’m pronouncing “wei” as “way,” and this makes me think of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I’m really into it. Dominating Dude.
Steph Curry: Fucks the Sky
Any nickname that can perfectly describe a play style is money. Any time Steph launches a ridiculous three, he’s engaging in coitus with the clouds, so this is perfect. Think about all those pearl-clutching critiques of Steph over the years and tell me this isn’t something you’d hear:
“I love that Steph is teaching kids there’s more to basketball than dunks. The shot is cool again!”
“You would say that, idiot. He just f***s the sky!”
That’s not Steph’s only nickname though.
SPROUT GOD!
Giannis Antetokounmpo: Letters Bro
“Now, how do you spell that?”
“A-N-T-E-T-O-K-O ...”
“Letters, bro.”
It’s not just a nickname, it’s a snide comment.
Kobe Bryant: Snail Shell
All Kobe’s nicknames are just shit that rhymes with “Kobe” in China. I approve.
Manu Ginobili: The Demon Blade
HOW DID MANU GET THE MOST BAD ASS NICKNAME IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS?!
Don’t get me wrong, I love some Manu, but Steph is “The Little Sprout” which is probably a show on PBS Kids, and Manu is some intense anime about a wandering ronin murdering yokai for fun.
I never thought a Eurostep was this cool until now.
Shaquille O’Neal: Giant Shark
“TOWARD THE END OF HIS CAREER HE WAS FREQUENTLY CALLED O’FAT”
Damn, China ... you mean.
Klay Thompson: The Buddha
Klay’s entire existence is distilled down to his hair. Wow. It’s not like we’d distill Klay down to one solitary thing and ignore everything else about him.
Kevin Durant: Schoolbag Du
He’s literally backpack kid.
Michael Jordan: Gang Boss
Makes sense.
Honestly, all these nicknames are amazing and so much fun. It’s been over 24 hours and Nick is still giving more examples that will blow you mind. They range from Dirk Nowitzki being named after a Panzer tank, to Eric Gordon who is “Round Face Mamba,” because his face is round.
Take some time, pull up a chair and enjoy all these — because they’re brilliant.
