Your Friend Texts You Updates From Last Night’s Rangers-Rays Game

Hey man i’m here. Made it to tropicana field

Holy crap elvis andrus is fast. Stole second. Then advanced to home on a ground out. Whoa 1-0 rangers in the first

This stadium looks like butt though. Too fluorescent. I bet this is what the inside of a duracell battery looks like

Haha remember that time we went camping and i kept throwing batteries in the campfire and they kept blowing up? Everyone was pissed at me but it was sick

Josh was like “i have my kid with me please dont do that.” Hes a lame ass now

How did cliff lee get so good? For most of his career I thought he was basically kevin millwood. Actually i think most pitchers are basically kevin millwood. Anyway he’s looking real good

The best beer they have at the trop is blue moon. Have you ever had blue moon? I think its a microbrew

My favorite microbrew probly is sam adams

Whoaaaa I think ian kinsler was out on that play. Called safe though. 3-1 rangers

Its so weird that the rangers might win a playoff series. Like last thing I knew they were going 74-88 and it was just rusty greer and roger pavlik. Those were the only two players

Beer

Haha score again

I bet the rangers celebration will be real weird

I bet theyll spray tropicana orange juice everywhere since its tropicana field

Too bad theyre not playing at miller park

Or busch stadium

Or minute maid park

I bet the next stadium they build will just be called “red bull brand energy drinks presents the baseball teams”

Anyway it ll be weird cause josh hamilton cant drink. He ll have to pretend that he likes getting ginger ale all over him

Then the other guys will stare at him and wait for him to leave so they can drink beer

That actually makes me v. Sad

I got bored baseball is boring

Hey wait were rusty greer and dean palmer the same person