Brian Wilson Heads Into World Series With His Beard Tan And Focused

Brian Wilson, whose beard it is, claims that the beard that has helped vault him to mainstream popularity in recent weeks is dark because it’s in the sun a lot:

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s dark because we play a lot of day games. It’s tanned. It’s focused. Thank you.”

Every part of that quote is great, especially the press conference-style “thank you.” Even within the necessary context of silliness, Wilson says it isn’t a playoff beard, but he has cast such a shamefully wide net of lies on this matter (the sun doesn’t make your beard dark, friend) that it probably is, in fact, a playoff beard.