On Wednesday, the results of the 2011 Baseball Hall of Fame voting will be announced, and we'll find out whether Roberto Alomar, Bert Blyleven, Jeff Bagwell, and, just for fun, Bobby Higginson will enter Cooperstown. Of course, nobody will vote for Higginson or B.J. Surhoff or the like, but it's still an honor to--
2011 Baseball Hall Of Fame Voting: At Least One Ballot Is For B.J. Surhoff, But Not Jeff Bagwell
Oh, neat! Someone voted for B.J. Surhoff. I’ll try not to get too snarky, because the Hall’s voting system of throwing numbered lottery balls into a plastic bubble mower and asking an excitable footy-pajama’d toddler to push it around the living room has, with a few exceptions, worked pretty well in the past.
It is a little puzzling disappointing, though, that ESPN’s Barry Stanton is voting for Surhoff but not Bagwell. After the jump, I’ll do my best to suppose how and why.
- Surhoff himself petitioned a vote out of Stanton. Surhoff called Stanton and asked him whether he would receive his vote. Stanton replied that no, he would not. Surhoff countered with, "Are you... SURHOFF that?" This was repeated several dozen times until Stanton finally acquiesced.
- Stanton pulled up a photo of Bagwell, looked at the Astros logo on his baseball cap, confused him for the repairman from the local cable company, and refused to vote for him out of spite because the repairman left before showing him how to work his remote control.
- Stanton is Bill Murray's character from Groundhog Day and has been living the same day for thousands of years. He is bored to the point of anguish. "Tomorrow" he plans on leaving Roberto Alomar off his ballot, penciling in Bill Pecota, and learning to play the flute while steering a cement mixer off a cliff (the cement mixer is full of condensed milk).
- Stanton still has questions regarding Bagwell's candidacy. He has no reason to suspect Surhoff, he reasons, "because Surhoff wasn't very good at baseball."
- Stanton is an analyst who tries to do the best job he can, but just like everyone else, he makes judgment errors from time to time.
- Stanton is a monster.
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