HDWEB: Everyone, everything is getting injured

In today’s HOW DARE WE ENJOY BASEBALL, we start to worry that everyone is getting injured. Exploding shins, erupting elbows, trampled children, and more abuse than you can shake a crotch at all threaten to overwhelm us.

by Justin Bopp

Mar 18, 2014, 6:15 PM UTC

Good afternoon HDWEB’ers, it’s March 18th and basically everyone is getting injured. Here’s everything you need to know.

If you have ideas or suggestions, send 'em my way at @justinbopp.

The good news:

Grady-crash

Grady Sizemore crashed into a wall and didn't explode into pieces - Over the Monster
His knees are still attached. It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!

The bad and the ugly news

Jose Iglesias has stress fractures in both legs - Bless You Boys
Although the official timetable is unknown, speculation arose -- via a former teammate speaking anonymously with some national media members -- that Iglesias would miss half and maybe "most" of 2014.
Jarrod Parker to undergo Tommy John surgery - SBNation.com
Parker is set to miss the entire 2014 season after a visit to Dr. James Andrews revealed the need for Tommy John surgery.
Chris Stewart injures knee, may have torn meniscus - MLB Daily Dish
Pittsburgh Pirates catcher Chris Stewart will meet with Dr. James Andrews on Wednesday to determine the severity of his right knee injury, according to a baseball source. The team fears that Stewart has a torn meniscus, and believes that surgery is likely at this point.

The rumors are real, folks

Red Sox trade rumors: Boston shopping Ryan Lavarnway - MLB Daily Dish
The Red Sox have made catcher Ryan Lavarnway available, according to CSN New England's Sean McAdam. The club has veterans A.J. Pierzynski and David Ross manning the plate at the major league level and Christian Vazquez and Daniel Butler at Pawtucket, so Lavarnway has become expendable.
Pirates shopping Jose Tabata - MLB Daily Dish
The team is also willing to listen to offers for relief pitcher Vin Mazzaro, and Bryan Morris also may be a candidate to be traded before Opening Day.

Sources: There is strong sentiment within PHI organization right now that the team would be better off trading shortstop Jimmy Rollins ASAP.
— Buster Olney (@Buster_ESPN) March 18, 2014

Whyareweallsurprised_medium

Baseball’s Most Surprising Seasons, Good And Bad - FiveThirtyEight
According to Neil there is "practically zero" chance Hanley Ramirez' 2013 season could have been predicted. If the Red Sox had a crystal ball (and I'm not saying they don't), would they have kept him instead of shuttling him off? Practically zero chance, I say.
Cliff Lee, Hiroki Kuroda, and avoiding the free pass - Beyond the Box Score
We often think of pitchers who have good control and limit walks as ones who throw tons of pitches inside the zone. But, as the contrast between Cliff Lee and Hiroki Kuroda shows, that isn't always the case.
A Decision Tree Approach to Pitch Prediction - The Hardball Times
Just gonna let this picture wash over you for a bit, while you contemplate the possibility that the approaching technological singularity doesn't have to be a malicious or human-defeating thing. Why can't it just be an extension of ourselves? I for one am not particularly worried that sentient robots won't find us useful:

Holland_test_medium

The Rockies might be the second best team in this division - Purple Row

This is just another example of the point I've been trying to drive home all winter. The Rockies have a core that's right up there with the best teams in the league, they just need the bottom of the roster to not put up negative production and unravel all the good things that our top guys bring to the table. As frustrating as this made last season, it's a good thing going forward because the bottom of a roster is MUCH easier to fix than the top.

It’s a perfectly defensible position -- but let’s get down to what we’re really talking about: playoffs. If you tick off the probable NL playoff teams off the top of your head, you’ll probably end up with some combination of the Cardinals, Dodgers, Braves, Nationals, Giants. Right? Assuming they won’t win the West, can the Rockies beat out any of the above for the Wild Card?

Vtsb6st_medium

What is the best possible season a player could have? - Beyond the Box Score
The obvious answer is “Mike Trout” or, if you’re forgiving, “peak headsize Barry Bonds.” Apparently neither of them are perfect and there are theoretically-possible better players.