This Max Scherzer bobblehead is terrifying

Listen, it’s not the eyes. This is Max Scherzer, we’re all used to that. His bobblehead is still terrifying, though:

That smile makes Bobble Scherzer look like the Joker without his makeup on, or like he knows a terrible secret about you. That secret possibly being that he’s going to steal your soul while you sleep.

As if it weren’t frightening enough to begin with, it’s a life-sized bobblehead. I am never going outside again.

UPDATE: There is also a Tommy LaSorda life-sized bobblehead:

AHHHHHHHHHHHH SB NATION DOES NOT ENDORSE LIFE-SIZED BOBBLEHEADS IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM