Albert Pujols quietly sits one homer from 600

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Albert Pujols opened the scoring gates for the Angels Tuesday night, allowing his sprier teammates to force errors and wreak havoc in a nine-run inning against the Braves. The key to the gates was home run No. 599. A no-doubter of a bomb put Pujols at the edge of the 600 cliff, looking forward to the company of greats known for both offensive prowess and indiscreet note-taking. Pujols has been tucked away in Anaheim’s obscure corner of the MLB universe, where even the game’s best player has difficulty commanding attention as he shines, but the lack of organic excitement is hard to explain.

Pujols’ three-run jack consolidated the role he fits into now: A pull-power hitter who still likes striking out less than Johnny Cueto likes passing up selfie opportunities. His swing is still akin to watching a wine bottle uncork. But, like, a wine bottle you open with an old friend and not one from a hip wine tasting at Dusty Baker’s vineyard. It’s familiar and majestic, but his telomeres’ betrayal tinge the sight.

I don’t need to tell you that Pujols is still very good. Recent production puts him in the company of Yeonis Cespedes and Josh Donaldson. The Machine has, however, lost some of his shine, or else the inevitability of a ninth player touching 600 would create more buzz than it has. As the legend goes, Pujols, in his 31-year-old season when most players begin their decline, signed a mega-contract with the Angels. He then hit sub-.300 for the first time in 2012 and played 99 games in 2013 because his Achilles heel is actually an Achilles foot. All of baseball hoped he’d return to his .328/.420/.617 peak even a handful of seasons post-2011. Sometimes if you just turn A Machine off and put it in rice it works again, but injury and age don’t respond quite as well.

Baseball’s Velveteen Rabbit could hit No. 600 in Detroit next week if his AB/HR serves as any kind of a predictor. He could even make the 700 club a quartet by 2021 when his contract expires if he stays at his home run average since 2011. Every time Anaheim plays, an Angel gets closer to earning his 600th home run swing.