We have to talk about Jered Weaver’s retirement tweet

We have to talk about this Jered Weaver retirement tweet. His farewell to the game of baseball, as a standalone event, isn’t much to talk about. He’s 34-years old, and after a 12 year career is deciding it’s time to say goodbye.

That’s all very reasonable.

This tweet though...this tweet is not reasonable in any way and I have so many questions.

First of all, let’s analyze the setup here. Weaver, using the popular social media app Twitter for what we can all assume is not his first time, and decided to send a tweet. He wrote it out, and with five characters left in the post he decided to...screenshot it and send THAT as a tweet instead?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Not only did he have enough characters left to send the tweet without having to tweet it as a picture, but those five characters would have been enough to add another period to the ellipses that only have two as it stands and to add the correct spacing in between sentences.

Plus, he technically didn’t need the ellipses in the first place so this entire thing is just an amalgam of confusion and nonsensical tweeting.

This leads to so many more questions. How long did it take him to decide on the emoji he wanted to use? Did he write this in a note and then copy and paste that into a tweet because he doesn’t know how drafts work? Is that even his family in the picture?!

He also took the screenshot at 8:12pm the night before (at least assumedly the night before) but didn’t send the tweet out until 1:15 the next day. Which is plenty of time for someone to explain to him how to send tweets.

At least Dan Haren was there to poke fun at both of their careers a bit.

Weaver had a long career (especially for a pitcher) and can now look forward to spending time with his family and relaxing in retirement.

And, for everyone’s sake, learning how to use Twitter.