Reminder: extra innings are great, and anyone who wants to take them away from you is a traitor to God and country

After waking up this morning, I spent the first two hours of my day recreating an extra-innings game. Going over the game logs. Kicking myself for checking my phone last night, seeing a 6-3 game in the ninth, and going to bed. Replaying the videos on MLB.com. Replaying them again.

And even though I’m a tourist who didn’t watch the game for five hours and 46 minutes, I can certainly appreciate them, and I’m jealous of the people who got to watch it live. So it seems like a perfect time to remind everyone that extra innings are great, and anyone who wants to take them away from you is a traitor to God and country.

The game in question was a 15-inning affair between the Dodgers and Diamondbacks at Chase Field, and it featured blown saves, dramatic comebacks, and Yasiel Puig throwing a runner out at second base. In the bottom of the 15th, the Diamondbacks didn’t have anyone warming up, and they pinch-hit for their last pitcher, which means there was either going to be a starting pitcher getting ready quickly, even though he wasn’t fully rested, or a position player pitching.

The Dodgers were also out of relievers, and Wilmer Font had already thrown 74 pitches in four-plus innings by the time the Diamondbacks, so it’s possible that we might have seen a position player pitching there, too.

In other words, it was beautiful, sloppy baseball. It’s the kind of chaos that defines the sport and separates it from the rest. Games that travel deep into extra innings allow you to watch the frayed edges of the sport peel apart in real time, and they bend and stretch and weave themselves into something completely different. Pitchers are pinch-hitters. Pinch-hitters are pitchers. Outfielders become infielders. There are no wasted pitches, and it’s almost impossible to overreact.

Baseball is slowly laying down the groundwork to take this away.

At all levels of Minor League Baseball, extra innings will begin with a runner on second base. The runner at second base will be the player in the batting order position previous to the leadoff batter of the inning (or a substitute for that player). By way of example, if the number five hitter in the batting order is due to lead off the 10th inning, the number four player in the batting order (or a pinch-runner for such player) shall begin the inning on second base. Any runner or batter removed from the game for a substitute shall be ineligible to return to the game, as is the case in all circumstances under the Official Baseball Rules.

This dumb rule doesn’t have to spread to the major leagues. There’s a logistical reason for having it in the minors, where the teams have a dual responsibility of taking care of the parent club’s future players and winning, with the former taking precedence. No one benefits from a 22-year-old throwing three more innings than his manager feels comfortable with, just so that the Denton Tinder Squids can win a game in front of 174 half-interested fans. This new MiLB rule doesn’t have to infect the majors.

But I’m scared. The pace-of-play mania isn’t going away in the MLB offices, and this certainly would be a way to shorten the average game. It would be a bazooka for a termite problem, but the average time of game would drop. All it would take is one tiny rule change.

Except that change is the baseball equivalent of a shootout, except it would involve bunting and fly balls. The first team would bunt the runner over to third and try to get him in. Then it would be the next team’s turn. We’ll see this all summer in minor league games. It’s a shootout, but for people who hate baseball.

Instead, check out this Dodgers-Diamondbacks game. There were 12 half-innings of free baseball, and only two of them didn’t feature a baserunner. That meant there were 10 half-innings where the opposing fans started panicking and the other side was settling into an optimistic, “This time it’s gotta work” mindset. This happened organically, without the dumb rule that practically forces managers to bunt.

At the risk of psychoanalyzing an entire crowd, I’m going to guess that there weren’t a lot of people concerned about the time of the game or the pace of play. The people who were concerned had already left. They had spent their money, eaten their hot dogs, and generally left satisfied. They had seen a close game. There are no penalties for leaving an extra-innings game early, either, with “Sorry, gotta be up early tomorrow” being an entirely acceptable excuse. And the early departures leave behind people who knew they were seeing something weird and special. The people left are the ones who know they’ve won some sort of strange, anxious lottery that they might not ever win again.

These aren’t the games that keep people away; these are the games that stick in your head years later. I don’t remember a lot of concerts from my youth, but I do remember Mike Patton picking up a shoe, peeing in it, and tossing it back into the crowd during a Mr. Bungle concert. Monday night’s game was that, but with more Jeff Mathis, and both Diamondbacks and Dodgers fans will remember it all season. When a game goes into extras next year, they’ll remember it.

I remember the extended extra-innings games that I’ve attended and covered, the groans when the home team doesn’t cash in on a runner at third with one out, the pregnant tension of every pitch, swing, and play in the field. These aren’t the games that make me think baseball is boring.

Hrm, that has a ring to it. These aren’t the games that make me think baseball is boring.

These aren’t the games that make me think baseball is boring.

These are the gifts. Extra-inning marathons might not sell a neophyte on the sport, but they’ll definitely strengthen the bonds between the game and the established fan. I don’t want one of these games every night, but give me one of them every year, where I get to join in a Twitter peanut gallery that gets rowdier, more impatient, and more populated with each passing inning. Where I get to wear popcorn boxes on my head and scream at the players on the field and definitely have them hear me.

Where I get to be this guy:

Baseball can be slow, and baseball can be boring. These are not problems with baseball games thare are deep into extra innings, though. Extra innings are for Rick Camp hitting home runs and Brent Mayne shutting down a Hall of Famer at Coors Field. Extra innings are for long relievers turning into de facto starters who need to throw five or six strong innings. Extra innings are for Jeff Mathis becoming an offensive hero.

Extra innings are great, and I need you to be suspicious of anyone who tells you differently. Look at this danged April baseball game if you need proof.