David Ortiz’s estate sale includes a 2002 printer with ink cartridge

Everyone needs to get rid of old clutter from time to time, even Red Sox legend David Ortiz. Hundreds of items from Ortiz’s personal collection are up for grabs as part of an estate sale Saturday, Feb. 29 — a dream for baseball enthusiasts to land one-of-a-kind memorabilia from Ortiz’s career, as well as some weird shit like this asparagus rug.

There are dozens of amazing things in the listing along with a whole bunch of random crap you’d find in a homewares section of a TJ Maxx. In honor of this amazing sale let’s celebrate the 12 best and worst items from David Ortiz’s estate sale.

The good: A collection of signed all-star hats.

Incredible.

The bad: Ortiz’s shitty old printer.

The HP PSC 2210 went on sale in October 2002 and received middling reviews.

The good: Ortiz’s batting helmets.

These are special because they have built-in providence and you know they’re legit.

The bad: This old drawer full of wine charms.

Wine charms are the single most useless invention in modern society. Everyone thinks they need wine charms, but the reality is that most adults can keep track of their drink in a room full of people. Furthermore, a few glasses in and nobody gives a shit whose glass is whose.

The good: Ortiz’s 2005 MLB All-Star Game cleats.

These look really clean to be game-worn, but they’re still personalized and amazing.

The bad: This coffee shop sign.

This faux antique definitely came out of the clearance section of a Ross Dress for Less. I dislike everything about it.

The good: A signed Ortiz painting.

A lot of sports paintings are really bad, but if I were a Red Sox fan I would put this on my wall. The color scheme gives it a raw Banksy-esque feel, and it’s signed, which is a plus.

The bad: This rooster rug.

Now look, this appears to be a handmade rug of solid quality, so my qualm here isn’t with the rug itself. I simply take umbrage with entire concept of decorative rugs. When you put something artistic on the floor, it becomes a minefield. People don’t know if they should step on it, walk around it, admire it — it just becomes a whole thing, and I don’t think people should subject their guests to wondering whether it’s okay to step on something that exists solely to be stepped upon.

The good: A crystal baseball from the 2011 All-Star Game.

A largely useless item, I imagine everyone who played in that game got one of these as a paperweight. At the very least, this is a rare item, and it would look nice on a shelf.

The bad: This unopened portable charcoal grill.

I’m mystified by anyone who orders a charcoal grill and never opens it, unless it was a gift. I’m sure buying something for a millionaire is difficult, but I’d really like to think someone was like, “We need to get David something for Christmas ... how about a portable charcoal grill?!”

The good: A framed 2007 All-Star Game jersey.

The orange is a bit garish, but this is a sweet item to hang on a wall and have people gawk at. I absolutely know this is going to end up in a sports bar.

Not the good, not the bad, but the BEST: This frog playing a guitar.

It’s a frog playing a guitar. That’s it. It needs no justification because it’s perfect. Look at how happy this damn frog is to be playing the guitar. He’s loving it.