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Come Fan with UsThursday, August 6, 2026

VIDEO: Rajon Rondo Has Eyes On The Back, Sides, Top Of His Head

Everyone has a favorite man-as-insect story, whether it be Kafka’s Metamorphosis, Cronenberg’s The Fly or that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where Baxter Stockman transforms.

Mine is when Rajon Rondo has cybernetic eyes installed all over his head, allowing him to make passes even members of the Ninja Basketball Association would be jealous of. Like this one in Wednesday's game against the Nuggets.


That was the most spectacular (emphasis on the root -- spectacle -- of that word) of Rondo’s 13 assists against Denver. Sadly, that 13-assist output dropped Rondo’s season average to a paltry 14.1 per game. By “paltry,” I mean “best since John Stockton in 1991, and third best behind Stockton’s best two seasons in the history of the NBA.”

Rondo has nearly half of the Celtics' assists this season, despite missing four games due to injury. I'm a firm believer that assists are overvalued as a stat in the NBA, but there's no question that some of Rondo's ridiculous passes create open shots that would otherwise not occur. Chris Paul and Deron Williams are the league's best point guards, but Rondo apparently couldn't care about all that, because he's busy creating a whole new species of humanoid.

Here’s the play in a bigger format.

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