Go Figure: NBA Players Are Leading The League In Napping

Because they’re all lazy, amirite?!

Ah, but not quite. Yes, there’s plenty of opportunity for NBA cheap shots here, but more important, this New York Times piece on napping in pro sports just gives us all one more reason to be insanely jealous of pro athletes. Napping has become one of the most invaluable training rituals for today’s NBA players, many of whom sleep up to three hours during the middle of each day.

And as an ardent believer in the virtues of a kickass nap, all I can say is... This is bulls**t.

Not only do NBA players get more money, fame, and women than any one human being needs, but they’re allowed to carve out time in each day when they can curl up in a five star hotel room and escape for three hours. Then they wake up and have a team masseuse warm up their muscles with a quick deep tissue rub down. Like I said, TOTAL BULLS**T.

Which is to say, it makes total sense, and it’s pretty cool that NBA teams have embraced napping for their players. The BS part is that MY employers haven’t done the same. If there were any justice in the world, the NBA/nursery school model would be adopted for everyone.

Instead, the best the rest of us can do is schedule in a few hours every afternoon where we just space out and stare at the computer. We are not winning. And alas, the old lesson gets taught again: Life is unfair, and there’s no better proof than the lives of professional athletes.

Even the Commissioner’s Office embraces the napping. From the New York Times:

Most are interested in its restorative benefits, although a few may just be trying to counter boredom. Whatever the reason, balls stop bouncing and shoes stop screeching every afternoon.

“Everyone in the league office knows not to call players at 3 p.m.,” said Adam Silver, the league’s deputy commissioner. “It’s the player nap.”

In the United States, napping is often stigmatized, seen as evidence of laziness or a lack of purpose. But in the world of sports, and certainly in the N.B.A., the attitude is entirely different.

Ugh.

So. Effing. Unfair.