Chris Paul Is God, And The NBA Playoffs Find Religion On Easter

Chris Paul did it again. And by “it” we mean he did pretty much everything against the Los Angeles Lakers. Again. Sunday night, he had 27 points, 13 rebounds, and 15 assists, and the New Orleans Hornets got another win to even the series with the Lakers at two games a piece.

At this point, Chris Paul’s the personification of those Nike campaigns for LeBron. You really just have to witness this stuff for yourself.

No, it’s not quite creating the earth in seven days, but turning the Hornets into a legitimate threat against the Lakers is almost as impressive. And so far this postseason, CP3 has been completely surreal. Not so much for what he can do, but that he can still do it.

For a while, it looked like 2008 playoffs would the only glimpse what could CP3 could be. After an injury last year and a quiet season in New Orleans this year, we weren’t sure he’d ever get back there.

Now, we are.

He’s the best point guard in the NBA, and (clearly) he’s good enough to make even an average team look like a threat. The Lakers will probably still win the series, but at this point, it comes down to three games, and it’s not that crazy to think CP3 can pull off two more miracles.

And since our latest reminder happened on Easter Sunday, I feel like we should ask--if God played point guard, how would He be any different than Chris Paul on Sunday night?

(Don’t answer that.)

(Just go with it.)

Hey, this game’s fun! In honor of the holiday weekend, let’s run through some other themes from the Playoff weekend that was. Beginning in Portland, where...

Brandon Roy Is Kinda Like Jesus

Last week, Brandon Roy was the fallen idol in Portland. The guy that everyone loved, and who we all hated to see suffering. He’d gone from the face of the franchise to the forgotten dude at the end of the bench. When he talked to Yahoo! Sports about the whole ordeal, it left him in tears:

“I always try to find positives out of situations, but this is a tough one to find something. ... I’m not going to lie: It’s hard. My pride is a little scarred. ... I used to always say to Greg [Oden], ‘You didn’t go out there and get hurt on purpose.’ I’m giving myself the same advice now.”

Now, just to be perfectly clear, nobody’s comparing Brandon Roy’s plight to Jesus here. Blasphemy only goes so far, and B-Roy was still making $80 million to play basketball. But if we’re talking about resurrections, it doesn’t get much better than Roy on Saturday night, does it?

When people ask what makes sports worth all this attention and all these people hanging on every game, I usually say, “Well... Nothing, really. It’s all kinda ridiculous.” But every now and then there’s a story like Brandon Roy that makes it seem completely appropriate.

For instance, if you don’t follow sports obsessively, you wouldn’t know that Brandon Roy was one of the classier superstars in the NBA, and you wouldn’t realize how tragic it was for him to have his prime snatched away by a couple of terrible knee injuries. And if you didn’t know all that coming into Saturday night, you would never have realized how totally awesome it was to see him catch fire in the fourth quarter, and score 18 points to help the Blazers erase what looked like an insurmountable comeback.

It’s a small story that’ll never merit its own sports movie, but at the same time, it’s a perfect example of why sports movies are so popular in the first place. Sometimes, sports stories transcend sports; where the narrative of Brandon Roy over the past week doesn’t just give you more hope for a team like the Blazers, but for anybody that’s lost hope, anywhere.

It’s totally cliched nonsense and it’s TOTALLY AWESOME.

We all get this warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that something like that is possible. And if you’re not a hardcore sports fan, then a random Blazers-Mavericks Game 4 probably meant nothing to you. For once, that’s your loss, and caring deeply about this stuff feels worth it.

The Passion Of The Dwight

Mark down April 24th, 2011 as the day it became obvious that Dwight Howard will leave Orlando. 29 points, 17 rebounds, two blocks, and now, not a prayer in hell of beating the Hawks. It just doesn’t look like Orlando has anything left to do against ‘em.

And this the Hawks we’re talking!

The Atlanta Hawks.

The “Joe Johnson and Josh Smith-led” Hawks, from the mind of Larry Drew.

Meanwhile, Dwight’s been averaging 32.5 points on 66% shooting, 17.5 rebounds, and two blocks-a-game. It’s not to say he’s been perfect, but putting up those numbers while his team gets punched in the mouth by a Hawks team they’ve dominated over the past few years, Dwight may view himself as a bit of martyr in all this.

He’s killing himself for the Orlando cause, but how much punishment can one man take? Remember this moment when he’s in Boston Houston Brooklyn L.A. D.C. a whole new city by 2012.

Carlos Boozer Is Judas
The Bulls may have dropped Game 4 to the Pacers, but they’re still in good shape in the East, and if you want to cite their close games with the Pacers as some sign of weaknesses, than you should also note that in just about every game so far, the Bulls have hit another gear in the fourth quarter. If anything the enduring legacy of the Pacers series will be that it was the definitive tipping point for Bulls fans with Carlos Boozer.

Just remember this: Whatever happens with this spring, watching Bulls fans go back-and-forth on Carlos Boozer will be every bit as exciting as whatever happens with Derrick Rose.

The Heat Have Been Smited By Someone, Clearly

God’s not crazy enough to pick the Sixers in seven, but I like to think that Sunday was just a reminder that if the Heat want to win a title, they’ll have beat back some serious bad karma along the way. Or maybe we have this backwards, LeBron got himself in trouble by defending Jesus’ ability to hit a fallaway jumpshot, and it’s Jobu that’s been wreaking havoc all year.

In any case, crunch time for the Heat is still pretty much a disaster.

Finally, Z-BOOOOOOO

Because sometimes, it pays to live in sin.