Marcin Gortat tries to do a Dream Shake move: A frame-by-frame account

I’m here to help, Marcin Gortat. As a Wizards fan, I want to help you become the best post player you can be. This was a great effort, but I know you can do better.

The good news: you’ve picked a great player to emulate! Hakeem Olajuwon might have the best post moves of all time, and the Dream Shake is his signature. If you do this right, not even Tim Duncan can stop you.

The bad news: there’s still lots of work to be done. Let me try to help.

You did start off well, which is good! Timmeh didn’t see this spin move coming.

But here’s your first problem: you’re under the basket! The Dream Shake only works if your opponent believes you can shoot it. It’s not easy to make him think you can shoot it when you can barely see the basket.

And then we come to your biggest problem: you have to keep your feet on the ground. It’s quite an accomplishment to slide your feet along a hardwood floor, but you’re technically not allowed to do this in the NBA. (The refs gave you an “A” for effort and didn’t call anything, but they won’t be so kind next time).

No, no, no. It’s like this.

Follow these easy steps, and your Dream Shake will end up like this, not like this.

But don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s a hard move to pull off! You’ll do better next time. Keep your head up.