It’s that time, yes sir.
The time at which we haiku
On through a mock draft.
The 2015 NBA Haiku Mock Draft
Are you ready forour new NBA mock draftfully in haiku?
Picks 1 through 14
aren’t determined as of yet.
Reverse standings, then.
No inside info.
No sources. Little knowledge,
and the haiku stinks.
Still here? Still reading?
Made of stronger stuff than I.
Now my friends: Let’s mock.
1. New York Knicks: Jahlil Okafor
Jah! A good pick, Knicks.
Surely this will please Melo,
get the Knicks on track.
Or his youth will mean
a long learning curve, time spent
watching him grow up.
Melo’s 30 now.
If it takes Jahlil three years,
will it be too late?
Here’s a better plan.
Take Frank Kaminsky instead.
Beauty before youth!
2. Minnesota Timberwolves: Karl-Anthony Towns
Man, I love the Wolves.
Wiggins, Ricky, Dieng, Shabazz?
What a fun lil’ core.
They need a big man
who can draw eyes in the post
or behind the arc.
Karlito’s so good.
A throwback post beast with size.
Boogie’s next rival.
Given that Kahn took
WES JOHNSON over Cousins,
Towns-to-MIN? Justice.
3. Philadelphia 76ers: D’Angelo Russell
Is anyone hurt?
Ha! That was a little joke.
Because, you see, Hink--
Okay, that’s enough.
Certainly Philly will draft
a healthy player.
One who’s in the States.
One who can play op’ning night.
Perhaps someone good?
All spots are open,
except lanky shotblocker.
Henry Sims got that.
Philly needs scorers.
And passers. And creators.
Russell fits the bill.
(Surely the ghost of
Evan Turner will not haunt
this pick! That’d be bad.)
4. L.A. Lakers: Emmanuel Mudiay
O! How I hope that
the Lakers concede this pick
by falling to 6.
Only thing that’s worse
than a fully wasted year?
Living that in vain.
Buck up, Lakers fans.
Losing, heartbreak will make you
‘preciate wins more.
If L.A. keeps it,
a star is what is needed.
E.M. could be that.
5. Orlando Magic: Willie Cauley-Stein
Magic love defense,
but lack a true shotblocker.
Willie’d fit right in.
6. Sacramento Kings:Justise Winslow
Coach needs more athletes.
Some crazies to make it work.
Winslow’d fill the gaps.
7. Denver Nuggets: Myles Turner
Denver’s still in flux.
Their best asset’s a center,
but depth is key, too.
Turner might go bust.
But picking here? No sure things.
Shoot for high rewards.
8. Detroit Pistons: Frank Kaminsky
FRANK THE TANK. FRANK THE
TANK. FRANK THE TANK. FRANK THE TANK.
Please pick FRANK THE TANK.
But for real, Greg’s gone
and Drum looks like DAJ.
Need a scoring big.
FRANK THE TANK. FRANK THE
TANK. FRANK THE TANK. FRANK THE TANK.
Please pick FRANK THE TANK.
9. Charlotte Hornets: Kristaps Porzingis
Latvia stand UP!
First since Andris Biedrins.
(What happened to him?)
Kristaps should go high.
Skilled and young 7-footer.
... More like RICHzingis.
10. Indiana Pacers: Jerian Grant
Bird loves feisty guards,
and Grant sure does fit that bill.
He’d help their guard depth.
It’s kind of unfair
that Indy will be so good
once Paul George comes back.
The East could get real
interesting next season,
or not. TIS the East.
11. Boston Celtics: Devin Booker
Devin Booker: he
is NOT Trevor Booker’s son.
(In case you thought that.)
Our threes addiction
might push this Klay clone higher.
He’s quicker than Sauce.
I’d bet on this kid
if I had a lotto pick.
(I don’t. ‘Cuz I win.)
12. Utah Jazz: Mario Hezonja
Frankly, I’m not sure
this kid ain’t a soccer chap.
Can we trust YouTube?
A Croat, which means
Zach Lowe already thinks he’s
best rook since Rudez.
13. Phoenix Suns: Kris Dunn
Kris Dunn. What a name!
Old West hero, or baller?
Or mayhaps he’s both.
Easy to root for,
and he’s talented to boot.
A real draft sleeper!
14. Houston Rockets (from New Orleans): Sam Dekker
No pick for the Pels
barring a big miracle.
Enjoy Big Asik!
Dekker’s tourney run
is inspiring a rise.
We’ll see just how high.
In my book, he’s a
B-minus Booker, but ... well ...
Hey, I know nothing.
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