2017 BIG3 mock draft: Yep, this is happening

BIG3 is a new professional 3-on-3 basketball league founded by Ice Cube and Hollywood producer Jeff Kwatinetz. Cube and the team convinced a few dozen retired and fringe NBA players to sign on for a summer of delight. They hired Roger Mason of HOW U fame to come aboard as commissioner. Amy Trask, a former Oakland Raiders chief executive, signed on as the league’s CEO.

Then there are the players. Some of these guys are legends, like Allen Iverson and Chauncey Billups. Some of these guys were NBA role players at best. Some are a bit grayer, like Charles Oakley. Some, like Xavier Silas and Donte Greene, haven’t even hit age 30 yet.

All eight teams already have two players and a coach on their rosters. (In some cases, as with Iverson’s team 3’s Company [yes, really] there is a player-coach.) That means 16 of the best players to sign up for BIG3’s inaugural season are accounted for.

On Sunday, BIG3 will hold a draft in Las Vegas to assign 24 more players (2 p.m. ET on Facebook Live). A draft lottery was held, and Kenyon Martin’s team — Trilogy — won the first pick.

Naturally, we’re going to give you a mock draft.

Keep in mind that we haven’t seen these guys play in between three and 15 years. (There was a BIG3 Combine this week, but video footage is lacking. We’re going off Instagram photos.) Also keep in mind that in BIG3, there are four-pointers (whither Antoine Walker) and it’s a halfcourt game to 60.

Let’s mock.

1. Trilogy: Steve Francis

You’re probably thinking, “Jeez, did some pictures go around showing Stevie Franchise wildly out of shape recently?” Yes, that did happen.

But your boy is in shape now.

After perusing The Franchise’s Twitter timeline, I have never been more invested in a draft pick in my life.

2. 3’s Company: Joe Smith

3’s Company features A.I. and DerMarr Johnson. You might think we’d want another scorer here — maybe Latrell Sprewell or Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. You’d think wrong. Iverson, who is the team’s coach, captain, and star, will be leading the BIG3 in scoring come hell or high water. Joe Smith is a fellow rapper and Virginian. I daresay he’s a lock at No. 2.

3. Killer 3s: Reggie Evans

You’re sensing a trend with the team names, yes? The Killer 3s feature Chauncey Billups and Stephen Jackson. I’m perplexed, actually, that this team isn’t called the Rachel Nichols All-Stars. Along with his BIG3 contract and Killer 3s jersey, Reggie is guaranteed at least one appearance on The Jump this season.

4. Tri-State: Ruben Patterson

Patterson, the original Kobe Stopper, is 41 and probably shouldn’t go this high. But Tri-State stars Jermaine O’Neal and Bonzi Wells, so I’m sorry, but this is happening.

5. Three-Headed Monsters: Ivan Johnson

Just another league for Ivan Johnson to get banned from. (Please don’t tell him I said that.) The Three-Headed Monsters (seriously guys?) has Jason Williams and Rashard Lewis, and Gary Payton is coaching, so this is already my favorite team.

6. Power: Hakim Warrick

Finally, a team without the NO. 3 in its name! Power, led by Cuttino Mobley and Corey Maggette, can’t pick Elton Brand because he’s not participating. So they get the best young-ish big man in 34-year-old Warrick.

7. Ball Hogs: Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf

So the Ball Hogs’ captain is Brian Scalabrine and the coach is Rick Barry. Their roster also lists a “PLAYER X.” That tells me no one else wants to play with Scal and under Barry or that BIG3 has a perfect Scal complement in mind but is waiting for some reason to announce. Paul Pierce could be playing his final NBA game on Sunday, should the Clippers lose. HMMMMM?

8. Ghost Ballers: Latrell Sprewell

Spree joins Mike Bibby and Ricky Davis. This is the single most NBA Twitter team ever created.

9. Ghost Ballers: Pops Mensah-Bonsu

With all these shooters, Ghost Ballers needs to look for some role players to fill gaps. (Yes, I am taking this entirely too seriously.)

10. Ball Hogs: Xavier Silas

The whole PLAYER X thing is really making running a mock for the Ball Hogs difficult. Barry will see the young Silas as coachable, though.

11. Power: James White

Flight White is back! This is probably not a great pick, but Clyde Drexler is Power’s coach and I have to imagine he appreciates a high-flying wing.

12. Three-Headed Monsters: Larry Hughes

Larry Hughes is definitely going to lead the league in four-point attempts.

13. Tri-State: Earl Boykins

Tell the truth: You’d still watch Earl Boykins play basketball today. Brilliant get by BIG3.

14. Killer 3s: Keith Bogans

This seems like a good time to mention that Charles Oakley is listed as a player-coach for the Killer 3s. Charles Oakley is 53 years old. What is happening?

15. 3’s Company: Smush Parker

At 35, Smush is one of the younger players in the BIG3, and I feel like A.I. is intrigued by his upside potential.

16. Trilogy: Rashad McCants

The comeback tour starts in the BIG3!

17. Three-Headed Monsters: Flip Murray

Who doesn’t love Flip Murray?

18. Ball Hogs: Donte Greene

This is just what Melo 2.0 needs to get back on the NBA radar.

19. Trilogy: DeShawn Stevenson

The sole reason LeBron will never play in the BIG3: He doesn’t have to deal with this dude anymore.

20. Power: Mike James

Drexler realizes a bit too late he doesn’t have a point guard. Actually, didn’t Drexler play with Mike James in Houston?

21. 3’s Company: Marcus Banks

A.I. once called Banks the toughest defender he faced in the NBA, which has something to do with the fact that A.I. had, like, all of the best defenders in the NBA on his teams.

22. Ghost Ballers: Lawrence Moten

I’m not sure I ever saw Lawrence Moten play in the NBA. He’s 45. But based on the photos coming out of the BIG3 combine, he’s in great shape!

23. Tri-State: Josh Childress

Maybe through the BIG3, we can finally find out what the heck happened to Josh Childress after he left for Greece during a contract stalemate with the Hawks ...

24. Killer 3s: Etan Thomas

For the culture.

Kendall Gill, J.R. Rider, Derrick Byars, Brian Cook, Ndudi Ebi, Shane Heal, Jumaine Jones, Voshon Lenard, Lee Nailon, Andre Owens, Jamario Moon (please let Jamario Moon get drafted!), Eddie Robinson, Michael Sweetney (who is in shape according to Instagram!).