Here’s a press release I received in my inbox that I’m still not sure isn’t an elaborate prank:
‘What Does Tennessee Football Smell Like?’ Not Possums, Apparently
What smells would you associate with the Volunteers?
At Saturday’s home game Nitto Tire will give away 30,000 car air fresheners with cologne fragrances custom-made by Masik Collegiate Fragrances to capture the spirit and the signature scent of the University of Tennessee. These 2010 Limited Edition Air Fresheners offer a scent that characterizes the courage and tenacity of the Volunteers.
As a Tennessee native and alum, I’m reasonably certain I have this one on lockdown: Cantaloupe? Moonshine? Possum-operated meth lab?
It opens with an enticing blend of Crisp ozone, Sliced Ginger and Vibrant Cassis. Energetic and fierce, Cool Basil, French Lavender, and Water Hyacinth comprise the heart while Fresh Juniper, Blue Cypress and Electric Musk provide a bold and vigorous burst, livening the sprit [sic] and transcending the senses.
Oh. No. No, that’s not correct at all (although I bet my Daddy would pay good money for an Electric Musk in his deer blind). Can’t we get a Cymbalta campaign instead? Where does Tennessee football hurt? Everywhere. Who does Tennessee football hurt? Everyone.
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