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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Miami Hurricanes Lose Jacory Harris, Cue Up Awkward Father/Son Learning Experience

Miami started the season with Jacory Harris as a legitimate Heisman Trophy candidate. They will end it with a battered Harris nursing a bruised body, a lofty interception total, and sitting on the bench watching a true freshman play his position. This, in case you were wondering, was not according to plan unless Randy Shannon really craved a lot of free time in 2011.

Harris first took this hellacious hit in the first half against Virginia:

Harris then left the field and did not return for the second half, prompting the most awkward moment of the day when Spencer Whipple, son of Miami QB Mark Whipple, triggered flashbacks for anyone who ever played sports with their father as their coach. Whipple went 2 for 6, threw two interceptions, and when benched ran over to his father on the sidelines and said "BUT I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE." He then quit football forever, went to an Ivy League school, and wrote a wistful memoir about the whole thing that will be a feature film starting Shia LeBeouf next fall.

Randy Shannon then burned the redshirt of freshman Stephen Morris, who is 2 for 9 with an INT. If you are in the Charlottesville, VA, would like to play college football, and have a 900 or greater on the SAT, please report to Scott Stadium immediately with a mouthpiece and a bill of clean health from a medical professional.

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