Miami Vs. Pitt: Rootability Score Favors ‘Canes For Style

Spencer Hall’s Rootability Index determines who to root for based on the kind of arbitrary crap most non-invested viewers use to pull for a team.

Behold the matchup that kept the Big East alive in the 1990s! At least in the sense that Miami took easy wins and has only lost once to Pitt since since 1986, meaning this grunge era matchup of former Big East brethren has all of the historical animus of the legendary seal/killer whale rivalry.

The mustache advantage is negated here by both Dave Wannstedt and Randy Shannon’s excellent choice of facial hair. It’s not the only way they’re alike: both teams play essentially the same defensive scheme, run pro-style offenses, and attempt to play an even and tasteful style of football resulting in a game-ending field goal. Smiling is not allowed on either team, but that should be implicit here.*

*Just made that up, but you know it’s true in spirit if not in fact.

You’ll have to decide who you can stand more: the Big East, limping along as the undead BCS football conference of our century, or the ACC, which differs from the Big East in that it is still alive. Wait, check its pulse--I’m sorry, it is in fact dead but still moving, and there are now no qualitative differences between the two conferences except for division for relative rations of mediocrity. When in doubt, lean toward the team with more style for sheer rootability. In almost all cases this is a race won by the team with Jacory Harris on its roster.

Lean: Miami.