Lock in your bets now for next year’s BCS champs, because Vegas already has the odds out and you may as well take advantage of the low, low prices you can be horrendously wrong at!
2011 College Football Odds: Oklahoma Is BCS National Championship Favorite
SAFETY IN INVESTING: Oklahoma, 7/2. Because Bob Stoops always wins big games, and Las Vegas funds their endless building boom with their restaurant industry alone!
Comparable odds: Dying from heart disease.
ON SALE: Alabama, 15/2. Rationale: Nick Saban, defense, deeply talented roster, deep desire to take national title and display it in Wal-Mart of their choice, not Auburn’s.
Comparable odds: Getting arthritis.
BRAND NAMES, NOW WITH FINANCING! Oregon, 14/1. Quality value! Warning: team will lose three quarterbacks due to injury and a running back to a mysterious criminal case, but most confusingly team output will not decrease in the slightest.
Comparable odds: Getting prostate cancer.
LOCK IT IN OR BO PELINI WILL BURN YOUR FACE OFF WITH A SOLDERING IRON! Nebraska, 18/1. Really, he will erase your face from your head through violent means if you don’t take at least a small wager on the Cornhuskers.
Comparable odds: Joyce Carol Oates odds of winning the 2010 Nobel Prize for Literature. (Pelini’s a huge fan, of course.)
MATH IS FOR LOSERS, AND WE WOULD KNOW. Georgia Tech, 125/1. You could get all technical about how low those numbers are, nerd, or you could put some money down and rock like you want to meet girls someday and party in limos with hot tubs in ‘em.
Comparable odds: Georgia Tech winning the national title. It’s so far-fetched its best comparison is itself. [MIND BLOWN]
AS IF THAT COULD REALLY HAPPEN. Boise State, 12/1. Nice try, Bodog, but thanks for all but admitting you’re part of the BCS conspiracy to make Boise think they could actually win a BCS championship.
Comparable odds: Riding a unicorn on the surface of the sun in a speedo.
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