Lane Kiffin Never Pays Full Price For Anything. Ever.

Lane Kiffin has never paid $25,000 for a recruiting service unlike some schools, he said earlier today while arching his eyebrowns and nodding in the direction of Oregon. (The Ducks have indeed done this in what is a practice currently permitted by the NCAA.) This may be true, but it should be noted that Lane Kiffin’s remarks do not exclude him from paying $25,001 to a recruiting service, so measure the comment carefully.

Lane Kiffin does like deals, though.

For instance, he never buys cars, but leases them, and good thing since he’s a little hard on them. He saved on recruiting services by using attractive free labor, and saves himself money on elder care by employing Monte Kiffin, his 71 year old father, as his defensive coordinator wherever he goes. He has no security detail at games and needs none because Ed Orgeron serves both as his recruiting coordinator, defensive line coach, AND one-man security detail. His wife is a stay-at-home mom, and thus eliminates the need for expensive nannies or day care.

Kiffin probably even eats at the USC cafeteria, works out at the free USC gym, drives a company car, has a school-issued Blackberry...you know, this started as ridicule, but we now can’t help but come to the conclusion that Lane Kiffin is a kind of genius of personal finance. He even saves money on clothes, since when have you ever seen him in anything but an official USC shirt and old pair of khakis? I haven’t, and neither has anyone who’s ever worked for him. He is now the most likely head coaching candidate to find his next assistant coach off Scoutmob or Groupon, and I will never mock his savvy thrift again. (Suck on those savings, Phil Knight.)