SB Nation College Football: Where Chicken Sandwiches Serve As Rhetorical Pawns

From Black Heart Gold Pants’ act of northern aggression against the SEC’s playoff stance and its most revered fast food:

You could drop a Chick-Fil-A franchise in my living room and I wouldn’t eat there more than once a month. Perhaps you’d like a breaded sandwich made from an animal that tastes like something? I can bring you some pork. I’ll bring you some pork.

Also, congrats, SEC fans: In your reflexive need to react against carpetbagger Yankees with torches and pitchforks, you just inadvertently stuck up for the BCS and placed Jim Delany -- JIM DELANY, PEOPLE -- on the side of Dan Wetzel and the other BCS antagonists. He might be the defender of the Rose Bowl, but you have become the defenders of a status quo that everyone uniformly hates.

And from Dixie’s retort heard ‘round the football blogosphere, by And The Valley Shook:

BHGP starts off its playoff rant with an opening salvo against Southern food. Is that really the way you want to play this? A Midwesterner is gonna run smack on food? Southern food is a legitimate cuisine, Midwestern food is something too depressing to contemplate. When I want advice on how much Miracle Whip to put on my bologna on white bread sandwich, I’ll call a Big Ten fan, but not until then.

See, that’s how crappy midwestern food is. Iowa can even screw up a Chick-Fil-A sandwich.

Hey, look. I do agree that we shouldn’t reflexively oppose things just because the Big Ten supports them. That’s how nine-year-olds develop opinions. But there’s a reason we instinctively tense up whenever Delany opens his big mouth: he’s usually saying something detrimental to the SEC.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I had Chick-fil-A for breakfast and am trying to talk my associates into having it for lunch. However, I just want the playoffs to have the four best teams with as little stupid shit happening along the way as possible.