Those who remember the early days of Comedy Central remember that the 24-hour network’s lineup basically consisted of various stand-up acts recut into half-hour “shows” and then replayed ad nauseum. Of the many, many, many bits I watched during those pre-Daily Show lean years, one that always stuck with me was Jeff Stilson’s classic and oh-so-obvious rant on athletes who are always quick to thank God for their fortunes but never blame God when they under-perform.
God Took The Points Against The Buffalo Bills, Says Steve Johnson
I don’t watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.’
Jeff, I give you your champion. Buffalo Bills WR Steve Johnson.
Last week, Johnson was the Greatest Guy Who Ever Lived after scoring three touchdowns in Buffalo’s 49-31 win over the Bengals. Johnson was fined by the NFL for his ‘Why So Serious’ undershirt but seemed to escape God’s wrath for worshiping a false idol like The Joker. Or so he thought
This week, with a chance to win their third-straight game and upset the vaunted Steelers, Johnson watched one of his five dropped passes fall through his hands as Pittsburgh forced overtime and defeated the Bills. It was the kind of humbling reminder that so many athletes take to heart and learn from.
Not Steve Johnson. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and Stevie is PISSED RIGHT OFF!
I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO...
It’s a fair point. I’d like to think Jesus Christ will think twice before sticking his nose in the outcome of football games from now on. At the very least, he’ll properly dole out positive yardage based on the number of times someone prays to him. That seems like a fair system.
H/T: Deadspin
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