Dallas expects to have 300,000 visitors for the Super Bowl, and many of those visitors will be looking for the same things: tickets, shelter, food, and that Super Bowl staple of staples, strippers. Armies of strippers will be required, because in the war against pre- and post-Super Bowl loneliness the indigenous population of amateur shoe models simply won’t be enough. They will need reinforcements in this battle, and are already seeking new recruits.
Super Bowl XLV Stripper Shortage In Dallas: You Know The Solution, And So Do We
Showtime Cabaret’s John Walsh told TMZ his establishment is looking for an additional 100 to 120 lap dancers for the big football weekend....Walsh said the 60 or so Dallas-area strip clubs will require approximately 10,000 strippers combined.
This seems so unnecessary.
Jerry Jones can get the solution to DFW’s paucity of pole-dancers on the phone in minutes. And oh, they’ll do it. They’ll do it for free, because the Stripper Whisperer’s words flow like sweet honey into the ears of our nation’s dancers. Have him climb atop the Jerry Dome in his ceremonial 18-button suit and blow the call to assemble on his magical conch shell; they will hear the song, and know the time to rally to their master has arrived. And oh, how they will love him.
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