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Come Fan with UsTuesday, August 4, 2026

This Probably Counts As A Touchback

Bill Hanstock
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.

Preseason football is exciting. Not as a football game or anything. But for all the weird stuff that will happen. Third-string quarterbacks going for Hail Marys. Replacement refs. And security guards getting tagged behind the end zone with kickoffs. In the case of the latter, Sunday's game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos does not disappoint.

It’s got the height; it’s got the distance. Is it good?

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Yes, it’s good. Very, very good. If you hit the security guard in the end zone, that counts as what, four points? At least? Way harder than a field goal, dude. Kicker should at least win a stuffed animal or SOMETHING.

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I guess this poor man took Chris Berman’s pleas of BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK a little too close to heart. Luckily, he was not too dismayed by the events.

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Oh my goodness, is that ... RANDY SAVAGE IS STILL ALIVE, EVERYONE.

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