Don’t be an idiot: NFL picks against the spread, Week 8

Last week we talked about some of this year's bad bets, but for my money, I'm the most upset about Thursday night's game between the Chargers and Broncos. I took the Chargers at +9.5 because I'm not an idiot, and watched in horror as NFL replay officials and back judges took 10-14 points off the board for the Chargers.

I'm starting to get the feeling that Peyton Manning is bored with playing against NFL teams and he's now on a personal mission to also defeat the point-spread every time he takes the field. That's the only explanation that I can think of to explain how he screamed at the fans and scoreboard operator to help him preserve the Broncos' 14-point margin of victory.

The "Is Jay Cutler Elite?" media frenzy stormed into town as Brian Uhrlacher had some not-so-nice things to say about the Bears' QB. This is the most meaningless debate meant to lazily fill space in a news cycle that can't give enough broad NFL opinions. Right now, idiots are convinced that Tom Brady is the once and future Elite QB and Jay Cutler is a never-was. While this is probably true, there are plenty of other guys who play for each team, and the talent level on the Bears is much greater, even if they haven't played up to their potential yet.

Idiots love brash Super Bowl champions. The Seahawks were a dominant team nine months ago, but they haven't been playing anywhere close to that level for the last month or so. They can probably still get healthy down the stretch and put together a run, but right now they're hurting, and they're still overvalued this week.

I'm taking the Lions just based on how the Falcons think that London is in Spain.

A lot of people know that Fireman Ed was the self-described "superfan" of the New York Jets, but what you might not know is that Fireman Ed was a Dolphins fan all the way up through high school. I can't even begin to describe the type of mentality where changing your allegiance to the Jets can be described as a fair-weather fan move, but such is the life of a Dolphins fan.

It's your classic bird fight to determine pecking order atop the NFC, and people have finally stopped holding the Cardinals' cumulative 1990-2012 record against Arians' squad. Idiots are always one week too late for everything, including figuring out which teams are surprisingly good, and right now they are loving the redbirds. The Eagles are coming off a moonstomping of the New York Giants and a bye week, so they should be ready to go. Arizona is still a top-four NFC team, but this is not their week.

Aaron Rodgers is at the top of his game right now, but the Packers still aren't atop the NFC North. That distinction goes to the Lions, who came back to beat the Saints in dramatic fashion last week after falling behind. The Saints are improving, but the one game that sticks in everyone's mind is the prime-time clobbering at the hands of the Cowboys. The Saints also have passionate fans like Eric Underwood, who will make sure that I stay on top of my game when it comes to disrespecting his Saints, so far be it from me to pick against them.

Oh hell yeah idiots love memes. Zach Mettenberger had a picture taken of him this week that could put him in a Muhlenberg County family portrait, and I guarantee you that this will have a slight affect on the action here. Money is going to pour in on Houston because J.J. Watt, and also because people won't trust the image they have of Mettenberger with any of their money that didn't have Jefferson Davis on it.

People who are betting on the Texans because of Mettenberger are overlooking that the Texans' QB options come down to Ryan FItzpatrick and Ryan Mallet, and that makes them idiots. Take the Titans.