PFT Commenter’s strong takes are presented as parody. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.
The IRS should audit Evan Mathis for faking a receipt
Oh, you want to have a prank war? Let’s have a prank war.
Well well well.
The merry prankster Evan Mathis has really done it this time fokls. He went ahead and betrayed that sacred trust that we as human being all have to have for one a nother to not trick journalists into calling for your job, head, and money. I hope your happy Evan. I really do. Not only did you not pay for that big dinner but you also didnt pay for mine which I spit out instantly after seeing that NFL players were paying more for there meals then I feel is appropriate.
Literally the hottest takes,, folks
Literally the hottest takes,, folks
In Case You Missed It, “He” tweeted out a picture of his dinner bill, which ran upwards of $60,000 and said that the rookies all had to pay for it,, then when we in the media called for him to be fined suspended and really just called him names (thats our job- we dont like doing it but we have to) he then turns into Ashton Kutcher all of the sudden and tells us we’ve been punked and that the receipt was fake. He even spelled out “Rock Paper Scissors” with the first line of each item. Hey Ashton Mathis, if I wanted to watch “that 70s show” Id go down to the strip club next to youre moms house.
You know I was just going to let it slide no offense to Robert Griffin, but then ProFootballTalks Mike Florio got me all worked up with his take. And it really made. Me. Think.
Florios spitting truth like as allways comparing Mathis’ stunt to a journalist who point a laser pointer into the eyes of players while theyre trying to kill each other and not get injured on the field which is a thing that happens I guess? Irregardless Ive got to get my buddy Mike’s back on this one.
Thats right. To can play at the pranking game. Remember this Evan?
Hmm what do we have here? Oh no big deal IMO, just a picture of Evan Mathis bragging about urinating on THE IRS BUILDING. Oh hey you no what Evan? You know who dosen't take to kindly to falsifying receipts? THATS RIGHT THE IRS.
Wouldnt that just be a all-time prank to have the IRS audit you because we cant take a joke. Whats that Evan? Your whining? I guess you cant take a joke either. Two can play at this game but only one can win and the media allways wins just ask Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, and Adolf Hitler who got voted Time magazine Person of the Year ironically in 1938 which was just such hilarous epic ownage.
I actually dont blame Evan for wanting to rochambo , I mean playing a game were you only will win once out of every 3 times would actually be a improvement over his career NFL record. But I DO blame him for taking advantage of a media thats a little too trusting at times,, well I guess now you can chalk this up as another big win for NFL journlists. Time for Evan to take of the Ashton Kutcher trucker hat and put on the dunce cone because when the IRS is done with him he’ll be known as the boy who cryed Uncle.
And you dont even want to know what kind’ve pranks theyve got in store for you in prison. Gotcha!
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