Waiting for Manziel

The National Airshow is a Labor Day tradition in Cleveland. The Blue Angels were rehearsing and performing one incredible stunt after the other directly above and through downtown. The jets would pass overhead and every car would stop and look up at the sky where the sound was coming from, not realizing that the planes were halfway to Akron by the time they heard them. F-18s breaking the sound barrier is awesome the first time you hear it, and less welcomed when they do it as you’re ordering a beer or trying to do a live broadcast.

It’s Thursday afternoon in Cleveland. The Browns and their fans are getting ready to take on the Chicago Bears. Week 4 of the preseason is the saddest, most meaningless game in the NFL if you’re not one of the handful of guys on a roster bubble. There’s certainly no game-day atmosphere in most cities surrounding a Thursday night preseason game. That’s not the case in Cleveland.

Another loud, entertaining, yet ultimately unprepared-for-combat force took over Cleveland that week -- Johnny Manziel. Still the most talked about player on the Browns roster, even though he failed to win the starting job over incumbent starter Brian Hoyer.

He’s entitled, brash, cocky, and that’s why they’re going to love him. Most everyone I spoke with in Cleveland called Manziel some variation of the word “prick,” but with pride. The biggest chip on fans’ shoulders comes from the fact that they haven’t had anyone relevant enough to hate for years. Manziel’s a WWE-level heel with a natural talent strong enough to make their rivals hate the Browns, and that alone is something Clevelanders take pride in.

“I love it when Manziel talks shit. But If you’re going to talk shit, back it up. Otherwise sit your ass on the bench for a while.” ~ Dave Szakacs

Most Browns fans share this sentiment. They love how Johnny is different from every other former savior of the franchise who said all the right things and got little accomplished. At the same time, they want to see him humbled just a little bit before they get behind him.

“In Northeast Ohio nothing is given, everything is earned,” said LeBron. Browns fans feel that an entitled guy like Manziel needs to get knocked down a peg before he can understand what it means to earn anything. The city will go to the mat for Manziel, but only after he starts to show just a little bit of humility, whether that’s Week 5 or sometime in 2016.

A lot of people thought that this town would line up behind Brian Hoyer. He’s a local guy who no one wanted in the draft. He’s everything that we’re told Cleveland is all about. There’s a billboard on your way into town from the airport of Hoyer hawking subs for “Mr. Hero.”

So while Browns fans are excited about Manziel, there’s a bit of a reluctance to cast Hoyer aside without giving him a fair shake. If you go a dozen years without a date and get asked out by the prom queen, you’re not going to dump her the second Bree Olson comes to town; but you’re definitely going to look up Bree’s highlight reels and drool.

They’ll give Hoyer a shot to prove himself, because Cleveland doesn’t expect the Browns to win. These fans are among the most die-hard out there and there’s absolutely no optimism involved. Browns games aren’t important because of championship banners or trophy cases; they’re important because the games are the centerpiece of a community that loves to have a good time with 73,000 neighbors.

“Through the years I went to the Dawg Pound with Dad, saw my first boobs, said my first swear word, and was told why John Elway is a bucktoothed son-of-a-bitch on those flat boards in Cleveland. First time I ever peed in a sink too. It became synonymous with family.” ~ Matt Wood

The people of Cleveland stick together more than any other fanbase. When the Baltimore Ravens left town real quick for some cigarettes, milk, and a couple Lombardi trophies, the city’s mayor, Michael White, initiated a lawsuit forcing the team name and franchise records to remain in Cleveland. Then they patiently awaited a new stadium and a team to put in it. They don’t support the franchise as much as they support each other, sometimes literally support each other after a long day of tailgating.

The best place to meet die-hard Browns fans is in the Municipal Lot. Having never been to Cleveland, I walked towards the biggest strip of asphalt I could see. Soon enough I found something that any reasonable person would assume was something called the “Muni Lot.”

There were cops holding beer bongs for Browns fans, and I saw one police officer calling fans pussies for not finishing their beer at an open-container checkpoint on the way to the stadium. Cornhole tables dotted the street and there were a few people smoking pot out in the open. Yep, I was in the Muni Lot.

Cleveland native Larry Laurello clued me in on what separates Browns tailgating from the rest of the league. “The city of Cleveland owns the Muni Lot. As long as you don’t hurt nobody, you can do what you did back in the 1970s.”

These are not the wine and cheese luxury box owners that Roger Goodell likes to pretend fill the seats of league stadiums, but they’re a lot more fun.

In the Municipal Lot on game-day, you see a wider variety of nameplates and numbers on Browns jerseys than you ever thought possible. There are Couch, Richardson, and Detmer jerseys worn half ironically and half as a badge of honor. They serve as a reminder to not forget that they’re here to have a good time, and that will likely mean losing.

Scott Nunnari wakes up at 4:00 a.m. for every home game and parks his Browns bus in line for the Municipal Lot for his friends. Every home game he hosts a tailgate that can fill up to well over a hundred people by game time. He’s made and grown some of his closest friendships tailgating for a team that by and large has been absolutely terrible.

“You can’t control how the Browns play, but you can control how hard you party.” Scott tells me after we get on the bus. As evidence, he presented me with the “ShOttomatic,” a chilled-liquor dispensing device named after legendary Browns quarterback Otto Graham.

Nunnari and Laurello are staples on the Muni Lot. Both men told me that one of their biggest frustrations is that Steelers fans don’t hate Browns fans anymore. They’re hoping Manziel can eventually fix that, but until then Larry will do his part by showing off his bus’ ability to lift its hind leg and take a piss on a Steelers fire hydrant.

One group of fans was passing around a joint and debating the finer points of the NFL’s drug policy.

“Josh Gordon’s a dumb ass,” one fan literally said before she exhaled.

She quickly caught herself and let everyone know that she wouldn’t quit smoking weed for millions of dollars either. “It’s just too fun, so I can’t blame him.”

The football-gallows sense of humor, laundry list of quarterbacks, draft picks, and overall misery is a generalization that Browns fans know better (and care less about) than anyone. They share a sense of pride foisted upon them from the collective suffering they’ve endured. They’re liberated from the pesky burden of optimism, something their rivals in Pittsburgh can never understand.

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The game itself and Manziel’s performance was an afterthought for most in attendance. The Browns ended up winning 33-13 over the Bears, and the biggest takeaway from the game was that both Hoyer and Manziel looked competent. I sat with Laurello in the fourth quarter and as he told me about some of the friends that he’s made in this stadium over the years, he stopped himself to watch Connor Shaw scramble for a late first down.

“Holy shit. We’re winning this game aren’t we?”

“I’d like to believe that the Browns have made me a better person. They have certainly created bonds with friends that never would have been there had I been a fan. People might think I am stupid for continuing to make financial, emotional, and time investments in the team, but I think I’ve gained a lot in return, even if it isn’t winning. In the end, aren’t sports about more than that?” ~ Jesse Kuroiwa

In this way, aren’t Browns supporters actually the most sane NFL fans? They deserve some success after all they’ve been through, but maybe the worst thing that could happen to the Browns would be if the team was good.

All of the losing has conditioned them to understand football, the NFL version, for what it really should be: an excuse to have a blast with your oldest friends on a weekend afternoon. That’s the ethos that Manziel embodies more than anyone. If you take it any more seriously than that, you’re the one who’s wasting their time.