‘How the Redskins Got Their Name,’ a children’s book review by PFT Commenter

All spelling errors are intentional (we think). - Ed.

We’re only 9 days into 2015 and with the release and subsequent banning of the Rob Gronkowski erotica series, its allready been a banner year for NFL literature. But you can go ahead and add another worthy competitor to your “best of” lists because M. Andre Billeaudeaux has written a childrens book explaning how the Washington Redskins got their name, and why you probably aren’t allowed to be offended by it, even if youre a Native American.

I saw this book adverstised on RedskinsFacts.com a website run by the team thats dedicated to spreading strong truths and barrelfire takes about why the name is actually good.

The book is about a dad taking his kid’s to go see the Redskins play a game verse the Patriots with his Grandfather Peter, a 99 year-old New England resident whose been a fan of the team since they made there debut as the Boston Redskins.

The two kids are named Jacqueline and Jean-Luc and they make the flight up to Boston with there dad to get Peter out of the nursing home and take him to a football game. The great-grandfather Peter was a former columist for the Boston Globe and according to the book, was known by his peers as being somewhat of a smarmy “know-it-all” and it realy makes you think how times have changed at that paper.

(via Wikimedia Commons)

After picking him up from the nursing home, the kids and Peter take a ride to the stadium where he starts educating them on there history. He starts by explaning how back in the 1700s there was a little thing called the Boston Tea Party where white fokls painted there faces red and dumped alot of tea into the harbor. Those white people called themselfs “Patriots” even though they were actually Redskin. Also it speaks to a simpler time when white folks were aloud to disguise themselves as minorities because they were afraid of getting caught breaking the law and no one made a federal case out of it. Nowdays its almost like Natives are looking to sue Washington fans for wearing redface when really there not even wearing makeup, theyre just embarassed to be seen at skins games.

Anyways so the Patriots are technicaly the Redskins- we’ve established that fact. Despite the history lesson, the Grandkids carry some deep internal shame with them- they’ve been teased at school and called names because they cheer for a team with a controversial name. Finally Jean-Luc mustards up the courage to ask Peter about some crazy theory he heared that maybe the name “Redskins” is offensive:

I’ve been hearing all this stuff... I’ve been hearing some kids at school talk about the Redskins name,” he said with his voice trailing off when everyone in the car looked at him. “Umm,” the young man stammered just a bit but he continued, “Well, some guys at school said the Redskins name is ahh, you know, that they heard that it’s disrespectful to Indians somehow.

Now youll have to forgive me if I dont exactley trust a guy named “Jean-Luc” when it comes to educating me about a rich tradition of fierce warriors folks. But as I read I thought “maybe I shouldnt be so judgy, afterall if theres anyone who can educate me about a squad that gets eliminated from contenton after 8 weeks, its the French. ”

Peter shows remarkable restraint and instead of throwing his 13 yearold grandson out of a moving car for being a undercover PC Police agent, he actually sits him down and explains that the term “Redskins” was actualy never meant to offend anyone, and all we can do is just educate folks about how sorry we are that they took it that way.

Where does the name “Redskins” actualy come from? You see unlike most morons, Peter knows that there were like 3 or 4 tribe’s from the American Southeast/Mid-Atlantic would occassionally smear themselfs with red paint from a obscure plant called the blood root before going into battle. Fraternitys across America still honor this practice , later known as earning your red wings. But the fact remains that Peter truly believes that you basicaly have to have a PhD in Native history from Carlisle to understand the true meaning of the team name.

Peter admits that in a few isolated events throughout the history of the United States, there are “some cases Native Americans had actualy had the name red-skin used against them in hurtful ways” which is actually the incorrect way to use the term, and is a completely seperate issue from what the team name really means.

”it seems lately, only recently, that there are people want to try and twist history and logic to convince anyone who will listen that the formal Redskin Warriors name is exactly the same as the derogatory race-based term red-skins.

“Redskin” (the derogtory slur), and “Redskin Warrior” (the nice name) are two completeley different terms idiots. See if you can follow me here- Naming your team “Redskins” isnt actually a slur, because its just a kind hearted tip of he scalp to a word thats not racist. By calling them “Redskins” (the slur), your actually calling them “Redskin Warriors” (completely respectful word). This is pretty basic stuff,, Id be embarassed if your not able to understand this logic. Its like in rap songs when rap-guys use the word that ends in “A” instead of the “ER”, except in this case its like if Eminem used the “ER” term as a allusion to the “A” term, with respect.

Peter went on to detail that there are nearly 600 recognized tribes in the United States and only a handful were known to follow the Redskin’s warrior tradition....The historical Redskin, like is represented by the NFLs team name, has nothing to do with Indians per-se or their race at all. It is specific to those early red painted native warriors

These are facts that career segregationist and original Redskins owner George Preston Marshall was undoubtedly aware given his deep empathy and celebraton of minority cultures and races, except when it came to things like allowing them to vote or have good jobs.

In fact, Billeaudeaux does a masterfull job of giving a historically accurate account of how the Redskins got there name without ever one time mentioning the person who named them or the reasons why. This isnt easy to do and requires a mastery of history that Native Americans simply dont have.

You see George Marshall was a pioneer of the “goes both ways” movment, at one point refusing Attorney General Robert F Kennedys PC Police mandate that the Redskins sign black players as late as the 60s by saying “We’ll start signing Negroes when the Harlem Globetrotters start signing whites.” This nuanced view of race relations points to how educated Marshall was, and how much care he must of taken to name his team in a matter that respectuflly honors the Native Americans that are smart enough to know there own history.

The author also makes sure to point out that the Redskins coach prominantly figured into the naming of the team:

Reports stated that Lone Star (Dietz) was quite seasoned as a coach and had life-long family ties to Native Americans... a year later, in July 1933, Peter noted that the new team’s name would be the Redskins.

In fact, Dietz, a white guy named Willie, repsected Native American warrior culture so much that he changed his name and took on the identity of a dead Native named “Lone Star” to escape the draft in World War 1. Just a proud rich tradition.

Billeadeaux allows that alot of activist name-changers might very well be Native Americans themselves. And they might very well be offended by the way they misuse the term in their own head when they’re being called a “Redskin” in a derogatory way- but according to Billeaudeaux- most Native Americans arent allowed to be offended by it.

Now I know what your thinking. It might come across as a little brash for a white person to tell Native Americans what they are and what they arent aloud to be offended by. Thats why the author does a little Boston Tea Party trick of his own and dresses up as a native american to dump their arguments into the harbor of “well actually.” He does this by writing a Native American character named Mark Yellowhorse into the book. Yellowhorse is a Navajo who stops by the family’s seats on gameday to just kind of chat about the history behind the Redskins. He shares with them how he’s not offended by the name, and most Natives shouldnt be, or else there idiots:

“So why would it be ok for some Native Americans, those from non-Redskin tribes, to try to pressure others to change the name of a team that doesn’t historically represent them or even represent all Indians to begin with?” All four of the DC visitors were nodding along with Yellowhorse’s logic- it made sense. “To me,” Mark concluded, “it seems there are people out there who just don’t know better”

This is a beautiful soliloquey by Yellowhorse and you have to admit he makes a great point: Only people who are part of the 3 or 4 actuall Redskin tribes should be able to determine whether or not Redskin is a offensive name. If your a Native American and your not from a Redskin tribe then theres the door because your opinion dosen’t matt-

“The Redskins is my team,” he continued, “it represents the spirit of all natives even though Navajos did not have Redskins.”

Well it seems Mark Yellowhorse needs a history lesson. As I’ve just learned from this wonderful book, since Mr. Yellowhorse is from a tribe that didnt have Redskins, hes not aloud to say whether or not its offensive. This is a classic case of a author educating his audence just a little too much. If I were Peter I would of told Mark Yellowhorse to go shut the hell up and take a seat, because as a Navajo he dosent get to comment on the Redskins name. Peter should of educated him on his facts instead of letting him brag about a name that has nothing to do with his history. The only people aloud to be proud of the Redskins is the 3 or 4 Redskin tribes and also people who are absolute die-hard fans of the team.

But out of the mouths of babes come truths. And in this book, perhap’s the most poignant bit of logic comes in the form of the 10-year old Jacqueline, absoluteley nailing the argument with a killer analogy. She tells Mark Yellowhorse how she shares in his peoples pain for folks who misuse the term Redskin:

”Sometimes my teacher mistakenly calls me “Joanie” because there’s another blonde girl in our class named Joanie- I keep reminding her that I’m Jacqueline but she keeps doing it.”

“You are exactly right” said Mark. “It’s the same issue when people misuse the name Redskin.”

So the game goes on or whatever, and all partys have a great time cheering on some Pro Football as the Redskins get out to a early 7-0 lead. For being such a historically accurate book theres only one part that completeley whiffs and thats the part about the Redskins scoring a touchdown against the Patriots. I have to assume that this book is refering to the 2007 game where the Redskins travelled to Foxboro and lost 52-7 with the Skins only score coming in the last 3 minutes of the game on a 15 yard TD- not a 51 yard TD in the 1st quater as the book claims. Its ironic that even though Jason Cambell has carried out basicaly his own genocide against NFL coaches over the years you dont see Lovie Smith and Jim Zorn petitioning outside Campbell soup headquater demanding a name change.

The game goes on or whatever and the book just kind of ends after Mark Yellowhorse agrees with everythig Peter has to say about anything. But the important part to remember is that everyone learned a ton about the compartmentelized history.

This book is a great resource and gift for children of all ages. It tells the REAL story behind how you can cheer for the redskins without admitting to yourself that its a racist slur. Its a perfect gift for the son of your PC police neigbor who needs to learn some real HIStory instead of the MRStory that they get in school and from his parents. But dont take my word for it!

Aside from realy knowing his history, M. Andre Billeaudeaux is a bit of a debate expert and internet commenter like myself. In the comment secton of a article from the Columbian addressing the Redskins name change, Marc takes a Choctaw nation member and “gotcha Native American linguistic expert” to school. He remarkabley keeps his cool after they just wont stop attacking Billeauxdeauxs desire to explain to them why there wrong: